I went home last Friday, I came back this morning.
It is hard.
I thought, the travels that I had went through was enough. I was proven wrong.
I got lost.
It was terrifying at first. The bus I stepped into went to another direction that I wasn't familiar with. The bus stopped in the middle of Kuala Lumpur.
I walked around. I found my way biiznillah. I stayed at the Central for hours as I was waiting for my younger brother to arrive from Ipoh.
We got separated.
Thus I arrived at home minutes after 10 p.m. I left CFS after Zohr.
This morning I got into another bus to go to talaqqi. And as usual the bus was packed with foreigners. Most of them were men. Usually people will keep their distance with me but this morning was different thus I felt sick and I regretted I ever boarded into the bus. I asked the bus to stop and I stepped out.
I haven't even arrive at my destination.
And there was more men at the bus stop, so I quickly stepped into another bus that was there.
The driver said if I really want to board that bus, I have to take a longer route. I said okay.
So, there was I, safe and sound because there were less people in that bus heading to Kelana Jaya.
When I was about to step out along with the rest of the passengers, the drivers said no. He said he will send me directly in front of the LRT. So I stayed alone, and he did sent me in front of the LRT station. I bought the token to Universiti and off I go.
It was nice of him, may Allah bless him.
Again I took a taxi to Madrasah an-Nur. The moment, I heard Habib Ali' voice, I knew, no matter what I had been through, what ever I hated, it was worth it. The talaqqi is only once a week and I skipped last week because of the Debate for Deans' Cup competition. I didn't win the cup by the way.
Talking about the debate, I remembered asking my friends to see me compete. I waited and waited. Three of them came to my second round; Fatin, Aini and Tasneem. I waited and waited, the same three came to the third round. I waited and waited, none show up on the second day. I know, deep in my heart, I am thankful to those who came. It made me realise at that time that waiting will have to meet its end. People can't wait forever.
I can't breath forever.
p.s: Info talaqqi:
Talaqqi Ustaz Muhadir bin Hj Joll, kitab Riyadus Soliheen.
Talaqqi Madrasah an-Nur oleh Habib Ali, Habib Naqjmuddin, Ustaz Azhar, Ustaz Azian, tafsir ibnu Katheer, al-Mawaqi', at-Tanbih, kitab Dakwah Yang Sempurna Peringatan Yang Utama.
Talaqqi Intensif 2012 oleh Syaikh Muhammad Fuad al-Maliki, kitab 'Aqidah islam.
Ta'ala ma'ee, hayya bina.