Sunday, January 27, 2013

Travel list; el-tremco.


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Salah satu kemudahan baru di Mesir tiada di Malaysia – el tremco :D

(Kekoknya hendak menaip bahasa Melayu, aduhai.)

Seperti kebiasaanya, dengan kekuatan yang ALLAH berikan, kami melangkah dari Baiti Jannati di Hayyu Safarat setelah Maghrib untuk ke pengajian. 10 minit jarak berjalan kaki ke bulatan berdekatan Inbi, menanti – tremco :D

Sumber: dutasurga.blogspot.com

Pada waktu malam; tremco dipenuhi ikhwah Arab ><

AlhamduLILLAH sudah terbiasakan diri bersama ikhwah Arab yang setakat ini dan alhamduLILLAH khair sahaja. Bersangka baiklah dengan mereka, bersangka baiklah dengan sesiapa, insyaALLAH, yang baik juga akan diterima.

Kenapa dengan tremco? :D

Dan kenapa bila kami sebut tremco, ada “:D” ?
Sebab tremco sangat – awesome :D

Sepanjang perjalanan 24hb Januari yang lepas, kami terfikir. Kadang-kadang, hati akan terasa dengan pak cik tremco. Kadang-kadang, akan kurang senang berada di tremco. Entah kenapa, ALLAH memberi ilham sesuatu yang baru.

Alangkah indahnya, berbaik sangka :)

Pernah sekali berjalan sepanjang di Suq Sayyarat (i.e Pasar Kereta) seorang diri waktu malam. Berjalan dari “Kampung” (Kompleks Imarah Malaysia) ke jalan besar untuk menaiki pengangkutan awam. Fikiran dipenuhi dengan perasaan takut dan bimbang. Sebentar mungkin, kemudiannya hadir. ALLAHu RABB.

Kenapa hendak takut selain ALLAH?

Bukankah sudah diberitakan kepadamu tentang sepotong hadith bahawasanya RasuluLLAH s.a.w didengari berkata sesiapa yang berdoa :

“Dengan nama Allah yang tiada dimudaratkan sesuatu apapun dengan namaNya samada di bumi dan di langit, dan Dialah maha mendengar dan maha mengetahui” sebanyak 3 kali, maka ia tidak ditimpa kesusahan bala dan musibah sehinggalah subuh esoknya, dan barangsiapa membacanya ketika subuh 3 kali, ia tidak ditimpa kesusahan bala dan musibah sehingga petangnya."

( Riwayat Abu Daud, 4/323 ; At-Tirmidizi, 5/465 dan Ahmad ; Tirmizi : Hasan – Teks doa berwarna Merah Syeikh Syuaib ; Hasan)



Bukan sekadar tremco, namun pengangkutan awam di Mesir juga yang lain seperti bas dan teksi. Tidak mengira, bas panjang hijau atau merah, bas pendek hijau atau putih, teksi hitam atau putih. [Warna-warni di Kaherah~ ^^]

AlhamduLILLAH setakat ini memang kami akan menggunakan mana-mana daripada salah satu pengangkutan di atas setiap hari dan pastinya ke gamaah mahupun madrasah kami.

(Kali kedua, kekoknya berbahasa Melayu, aduhai.)

Jadi kami terfikir, betapa banyaknya pahala (walaupun yang memasukkan kita ke syurga bukan pahala, bahkan rahmat ALLAH) bagi mereka yang bekerja memandu pengangkutan awam.

Ya, mungkin sahaja kadang-kadang terkurang baki.
Ya, mungkin sahaja kadang-kadang tercaj lebih.
Ya, mungkin sahaja kadang-kadang emosinya kurang menyenangkan.

'Ala kulli hal, siapa yang memudahkan kita untuk ke pengajian?
Siapa yang menjadi asbab ALLAH sampaikan kita ke tempat yang dituju?

Jika kita hanya memikirkan diri kita dinaungi para malaikat kerana hendak ke majlis ilmu, apatah lagi orang yang memang titik peluhnya dikerah keringat untuk menyampaikan puluhan orang, malah mungkin beratus tolabul 'ilm dalam sehari sahaja?

ALLAHu AKBAR.

Tidakkah kamu melihat bagaimana ALLAH itu Maha Adil dan Bijaksana?

Mungkin, dan cuma mungkin, mereka tidak punya kesenangan waktu untuk ke masjlis ilmu di Masjid Azhar, tidak mampu ke kelas al-Quran di Muqottom, tidak berkesempatan ke Mawlid di Husin.

Tapi dalam masa satu jam sahaja, sudah berapa kali mereka berulang-alik untuk membawa penumpang ke sana ke mari?

Dalam masa sehari sahaja, sudah berapa kali mereka mendengar bacaan al-Quran yang dipasang di dalam kenderaan masing-masing?

SubhanALLAH.

Jangan nak banding, tak akan terbanding.

Tampar diri sedikit, rendahkan egomu wahai penuntut ilmu.

Di tepi-tepi jalan, seringkali kami melihat teksi yang memperlahankan kenderaan, berborak dengan pemandu di kenderaan sebelah tak lain tak bukan untuk membantu memberitahu jalan.

SubhanALLAH.

Betapa mereka menyenangkan urusan manusia, mudah-mudahan ALLAH menyenangkan urusan mereka di akhirat. Ameen.


Betapa “awesome”nya rakyat Mesir, walaupun betapa ramai menanti tremco, tetapi apabila tremco tidak mahu mengambil penumpang, mereka akan terus bertanya; “as-Solah?” (i.e: Adakah kamu ingin solat?) Dan pemandu sekadar menganggukkan kepala maka yang sudah tersedia berkerumun akan pantas memberikan ruang untuk dia berlalu pergi.

Betapa “awesome”nya rakyat Mesir, sentiasa sedia membantu apabila kami tersesat jalan.

Betapa “awesome”nya rakyat Mesir, sudi menegur jika kami ada tersalah silap. Sudi mengingatkan untuk kami solat sunat.

MasyaALLAH :)

Betapa manisnya berbaik sangka.

Tidaklah manusia itu sempurna dari hati yang terkadang mengetuk menyatakan keraguan.
Tapi keraguan itu boleh ditepis insyaALLAH.

Carilah 70 alasan, apabila melihat kemungkaran.

Kerana kamu tidak tahu, apa yang ALLAH tahu.
Kerana kamu tidak tahu, apa pengakhiran untuknya.

Dan bukanlah, seorang yang menulis untuk memberitahu kebaikannya berbaik sangka, mampu untuk menjaga hatinya sentiasa pula berbaik sangka kembali. ALLAHu RABBi. Sallimna ya RABB.

Moga kita dikurniakan husnul khatimah. Kullukum insyaALLAH. Ameen.

اللهم صل وسلم على سيدنا محمد


FatahALLAHu'alaik.
ALLAHua'lam.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

To know is painful.


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

I just want someone to know, whoever read this, that I, Amirah Hazwani, always am alone, always seen alone, like to be alone but not every time. It is not every time I want to be alone.

It was written some time ago.
It was written quite a while ago.
But it is still; unbelievably true.
Though I'm doubtful about my grammar ;D

*****

May ALLAH yusahhil. Ameen.

"Maka lihatlah kepada hatimu. Adakah cahaya atau kegelapan?”
"Therefore see through your heart. Is it bright with light or deep in darkness?”

Once I posted in my timeline;

Truth to be told, to say things are easy.
It slipped out just like that.
To write, is not difficult.
Though the only different is; we can delete it before anyone reads it.

Along with my colleagues, we are now officially one day before our last paper, which is Anatomy. The holidays are getting nearer. The tense are getting at its peak and lowest. At the same time.



I had my heart broken couple of times in the duration of study week.
Perhaps, and just perhaps, I had more than my colleagues.

My Syeikh mentioned; (in my way of translating what he said) –
The reason why we forget ALLAH is that we have a vacant in our heart.

Vacant, is meant to be filled. Sah?
It bring us to a conclusion that, when we thought we remember ALLAH and yet we have a million of other things keeping our mind busy, that really means something. Our hearts are not yet filled with ALLAH.



This world, my dear, is like a bridge. A bridge that connects two other worlds; the world of Ruuh (spirit) and Akhirah (HereAfter).

When crossing a bridge, everyone will try his own way. Such as, I can cross it by a car or a lorry, or by riding a horse, or running, or walking. Sometimes, I can walk for a few minutes and rest for 10 hours.

At the end, I still won't build a house in that bridge. I just want to cross. The duration is not an issue.

This example bring us back to reality. Every Muslim want to reach to ALLAH. Or at least, HIS Jannah (which at the end, you'll reach ALLAH also though it is a different and longer story.) But people have their own way.

Pray, praises to Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h, read the Quran, fast and so on.

What didn't occur to us is that, we are focusing only on 'how', instead of 'who'.

Who gave you Quran to read and ponder?
Who created for you the sky, Earth and everything in between?
Who made you as perfect as you are right now?

Those 10 fingers that you use to write.
Those muscles that are supporting each other.
The sciatic nerve that divided into common peroneal and tibial nerve.
The eyes that you are currently using to read right now.
And the mouth and tongue, that suppose to say; AlhamduLILLAH.


قل الحمد لله

Surprise, surprise. We forget about HIM.
We forget to know HIM.
We forget that, to reach HIM, is only by HIS permission.
Not by our desire.
Not by our desire.

It is not the same, one who gets an invitation with one who didn't get.
It is not the same, one who reach the door and stand still with one who enters.
It is not the same, one who enters and sit quietly with one who have the chance to speak to the owner of the house.

It is not the same, one who thinks he had arrive and one who actually arrive.

Tak sama, seorang yang mendapat jemputan dengan yang tidak mendapat.
Tak sama, seorang yang sampai di depan pintu dan berdiri dengan yang masuk ke dalam.
Tak sama, seorang yang masuk dan berdiam diri dengan yang mendapat peluang berbicara dengan tuan rumah.

Tak sama, seorang yang merasakan dia sudah sampai; dengan yang hakikatnya sudah sampai.

And the question aroused; how to know HIM?

It is not for me to answer.
Because your way of crossing the bridge differs from mine.

Keep yourself engage. With death. Then you'll find yourself hurrying to find the correct way. At the end, if HE doesn't want to, there's nothing that we can do. But, we can still have faith. To believe that HE had created us with love and to reach HIM.

He didn't created us to suffer.
And everything around us didn't make us suffer.

We are suffocating ourselves.
We dream too much that when even a minute thing does not occur according to our desire, we blow off. We got sick, because we are sick.

A doctor may give us medicine, but it is up to us whether to take it or not.
And medicine usually are not tasty at all.
Or it takes a long time to heal.

So be patient. Because ALLAH is with those who are patient.



ALLAHua'lam.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Yes, imtihan is tomorrow!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Snips and snaps of here and there of my life.
Good things are from HIM wa haza min fadliLLAH.
Bad things are from my own imperfection and flaws. At least, no one is perfect.
Except our beloved Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.
May ALLAH redha.


Time sure does fly.
I still remember the first moment I stepped in to the Azhar mosque.
How I had ran back and forth from Hayyu Sabi' to the mosque.
How I had istikharah and musyawarah to finally... be the medical student of Azhar Faculty of Girls during the day, and ahbab of Darul Hasani Kaherah at night.

My my, I would never imagine. But ALLAH have HIS own plan for me.
And HIS plan is the best plan -- ever.

I had been busy, my posts are less than usual as one might notice.
I had a few problems, but alhamdulillah, at least things are getting better right now.

No more marriage thingy, insyaALLAH. I came here for two reasons and that's it.
Talaqqi and medic. Kholas.

What does it like to be both medicine and student of talaqqi?

I am raising this question, just because, to make it clear for all of other human beings in this world that - studying doesn't mean that you have to focus in one field.

And as for Muslims specially, you have to gain Islamic knowledge to know your religion also.
I don't think that this apply to Muslims only. A good believer is a good believer.
But to believe in one and the only God, for me personally is LAILAHAILLALLAH.


There is no God, except for ALLAH.

I started talaqqi during my teens, 18 years old to be specific and now I am reaching my big twen-ty with no "teen" anymore, I don't regret whatever happened.

To jump in this field - alone - was like... failed suicidal mission.
But along the way of recovery, it was like... honeymoon forever ;D

I thought, if it is easy to be a doctor, then everyone will be a doctor.
Therefore, if it is easy to love and know ALLAH, then everyone will be 'alim or fiqih.

I understand now why had ALLAH sent me to SAMTTAR.
To learn to be loved and return the love.
To learn that people make mistakes.
To learn that we learn from our mistakes.

I understand now why had ALLAH sent me to SMKAM 2.
To know that not all the moments in life are colourful.
To know that people are eager to learn about religion.
To know that darkness, can be erase.

I understand now why had ALLAH sent me to CFS.
To meet my first Syeikh, Syeikhuna Muhadir bin Hj Joll.
To start my own travel log.
To take the first step on being what I am today.

I understand now why ALLAH made me work at and travel to various places.
To reach HIS 'ibaad.
To build relationship among Muslims and non-Muslims.
To ponder and study HIS creations.

ALLAH.

If it is not for HIM, I wouldn't have the courage to do anything.
As my Syeikhuna Yusuf Bakhour said; "You can't even move feet without HIM."



I wish, I hope, that whatever I learn from days and nights, are beneficial for the ummah one day.
I wish, I hope, that ALLAh will consider my effort, as HE is All-Knowing and All-Seeing.

HE, who listens to prayers.
HE, who sees me and protect every step I made and will make.

Because I know, I was created from love, with love.

Imtihan for Physiology is tomorrow, insyaALLAH.
Do pray for us Azharians, syukran awi~ ^^

ALLAHUa'lam.



Book sharing: Fifty of the councels of the Prophet p.b.u.h to the women by Syeikh Ahmad Jad and translated by Rafique Abdur Rahman. 30LE ;D
(InsyaALLAH will write a review. Ameen.)

Blog sharing: He was the Head Prefect, he was one of Malaysia Best Students and he is my friend! Ahmad Soliheen: http://soliheen93.blogspot.com

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Ahlam yang menyepi,


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Kisah Ahlam.
Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang,
Selawat dan salam ke atas junjunganku, Rasulku, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w

Hasil karya Umairah Hawani,
JANJI.
Tangan dihulur keluar apabila diminta. Terasa sesuatu yang diletakkan dari atas angin, namun sangat ringan. Ahlam terus mengenggam, menanti kata-kata. Tiada. Dia berpaling, kerana dipanggil. Langkah menuju ke arah kereta, mengambil posisi dan terus dibawa pergi.
Hinggalah tiba di kediamannya. Pintu dibuka, Ahlam memanggil teman-temannya.
Genggamannya dilepaskan. Kini dihadapannya, sebentuk cincin emas.
Tangannya, bibirnya... menggeletar. Dia bingung. Apa harus dia lakukan?
*****
"Kamu dah beritahu dia ke kamu nak ke Mesir?”
Ahlam menggeleng walaupun dia tahu tiada yang melihat. “Belum,” balasnya kembali kepada ibunya.
“Oh, begitu,” balas ibunya kembali beberapa saat kemudian. Talian komunikasi antarabangsa itu sedikit lambat menyampaikan setiap patah yang berkata.
“Ibu, Mesir ini luas. Kuliah kami pun berbeza. Hanya satu yang akan menemukan kami, yakni jodoh. Kalau ada, insyaALLAH,” balas Ahlam bertujuan menenangkan hati semua pihak dan menutup bicara.

Selang beberapa minit kemudia dia memberi salam dan terdiam sendiri.
Benar apa yang dikata. Jadual kuliahnya sedikit padat. Malah dia juga mempunyai jadual sendiri. Hanya satu saja yang mampu membuatkannya bertemu dia. Jodoh.
*****
Laju kakinya melangkah, mencari tempat kembali. Dia sudah melencong dari jalan yang sepatutnya. Ahlam bergegas hendak berpatah balik. Dihadapannya rakan-rakan yang ditemani bersama dua orang musyrif. Seorang yang baru dikenali, seorang lagi sedang menanti. Ahlam membiarkan mereka berjalan dihadapan. Seperti biasa, dia mahu sendiri.
Suasana Abu 'Ila riuh. Tidak pernah dia bermimpi hendak sampai ke situ. 3 bulan sudah, ramai yang berkunjung. Namun tidak untuk dia. Hadirnya dia sekadar menjadi peneman. Langkah yang tadinya pantas menjadi semakin perlahan. Pandangannya dipaling ke arah kiri. Seketika dia tergamam. Sesaat kemudian, dia memalingkan pandangan.
Ahlam memejamkan mata. Sesaat dua.
Dari rentak yang perlahan, langkah kini semakin laju. Ahlam hampir sahaja mahu berlari, tapi dia risau akan membuatkan teman-temannya tertanya. Setelah mencari helah, dia akhirnya sendiri. Namun masih di lorong yang sama. Lorong pertemuan itu, beberapa puluh langkah jaraknya.
Tafsir Quran ditangannya dipegang rapi. Tasbih digenggam erat. Dia mengira-ngira.
Lalu dia berpaling.
Lelaki berbaju biru itu masih di situ. Sedang melihatnya. Ahlam berpaling kembali, membelakangkan. Dia mengira-ngira.
Lalu dia berpaling, sudah tiada.
Dia tidak tahu mahu mengambil nafas panjang atu menghela nafas lega. Langkah perlahan-lahan diteruskan, setapak demi setapak. Beberapa saat berlalu. Matanya tetap menghala ke hadapan, telefon bimbitnya kini di tangan.
Dari celah-celah manusia, dari kejauhan, kelihatan seseorang sedang berlari. Berlari ke arahnya. Ahlam terhenti. Kotak suaranya terkunci.
Si dia berhenti beberapa tapak di hadapannya. Ahlam tunduk, tidak berani dia melihat.
Akhirnya suara itu menegur, suara yang memang dikenalinya sejak hampir 3 tahun itu. Suara yang sudah sekian lama sepi dari pendengarannya.
"Awak sihat?”
*****
"Kak Ahlam nak buat apa sekarang?”
“Kak Ahlam dah istikharah kan?”
“Macam mana dia boleh kenal kak Ahlam?”
“Macam mana dengan 'musyrif'?”
"Kak Ahlam nak pilih siapa?”
Bertubi soalan, beribu pendapat. Ahlam bingung. Sudah berapa kali dia istikharah. 3 tahun lalu, malah kini. ALLAH masih menguji kesabarannya. Masih tiada petunjuk dan cahaya.
Sudah lama dia menangguh, sudah berapa yang menanti. Bukan dia manusia tidak berperasaan berbuat begitu. Tetapi untuk dia menerima seorang insan menjadi suami bukan suatu perkara yang mudah. Bukan bagi dirinya, bukan bagi diri sesiapa pun.
Bukan dia yang meminta, lamaran serentak yang diterima.
Bukan dia yang menagih, setiap huluran salam disulam kasih.
Ahlam membuat keputusan, menangguh lagi.
Pelbagai alasan diberi. Pelbagai benteng dibina kembali.
Dia masih menanti, suatu hari, di mana DIA Yang Esa menjawab pertanyaannya.
Bersama siapa, harus dia memeterai janji?

*****

هفرح دي الفرحة بجد لسه وحشاني
فيها إيه لو تبقى لحظة حلوة وخداني 
What would ever happen if I get indulge in a moment of happiness?

ALLAHUa'lam.

Friday, January 4, 2013

A child who wrote;



Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
To those, who had the chance to know me. Personally.

Sometimes people might wonder, but never will ask.
Why am I too childish?
Psychologically, it is as simple as I had not experience normal childhood.
My parents was busy. Too busy. To have both ami and abah flying over Japan one after another for business trips was perhaps one of the reasons we rarely talk to each other.
Being the second child of the eldest three daughters – Syahmi came 5 years after my younger sister – I always remind myself that I have to take care of everything. Every – thing. My elder sister was not too healthy. My younger sister is, well, she's the youngest at that time.
I still remember those moments when I spoke to myself, in my head.
I have to be matured. I have my sisters to take care when my parents are away.
I have to give, not receive. I have to love, not the other way round.
I have to, thus I did.
The situation changed almost 179 degree when I went to boarding school.
Instead of being left out, I was at the centre of attention. Not even have to ask.
Truth to be told, it even started since my first day at school. I thought it was normal, and it turned out to be abnormal. It wasn't even a tradition for newbies to be known by seniors and specially those of 6th year.
So when I moved out, I thought I would be under-ground. It turned out to be, slightly wrong. Or almost. Perhaps.
Those moments are known only by my friends who was there with me. It will be almost non-beneficial to remember things back, but, what I realized was;
I was really, a childish person.
Yes, true, at times I would be the most hatred person in the world, specially when I was doing my duty as secretary and such. I was demanding. But when I was a friend, people treated more to a little 5 years-old than a teenagers.
Even they mentioned so.
When I finally entered CFS, I made a promise to myself to stay very quiet and not to be notice by anyone. I didn't even ask nor pray. But people noticed. And the childish side of me didn't disappear as I hoped.
For almost 6 years, I lived like that.
I received love and attention. From friends and colleagues.
The situation made a u-turn, when I arrived here.
To be specific, when I attended talaqqi with Syeikh Rohimuddin.
It was a fact, yes, that I started talaqqi long before. I started with Syeikhuna, Ustaz Muhadir bin Hj Joll. I had a few Syeikhs also in different fields of my study outside Engineering field, but, my perception of who I live with changed when I listened to Syeikh Rohimuddin.
The world, this world, is not about me living with people around me.
The world doesn't revolve around me.
Instead, it revolve for me from ALLAH.
"It is HE who crated you all things that are on Earth.” Baqarah:29
And I,
am with ALLAH. Wa kholas.

Sometimes, the world and its contents were built around me.
So I become whatever ALLAH wants me to be.

Servant, tolabul 'ilm, khadim.
I become as childish as I want, because I'm in love.
In love with HIM.
"Then do you remember ME; I will remember you.” Baqarah: 152
You don't want to be a strict person around those person that you love, ain't you?
On the other hand,
sometimes, I was designed for the world and its contents.
So I become whatever ALLAH wants me to be for them.
Friend, daughter, guide.
I become as strict, as helpful as possible, because I was in need.
In the need for insaan, wa sama' wal 'ard.
Though InnALLAHa 'ala kulli syain qadir.
"When HE decrees a matter, HE says to it 'Be', and it is.” Baqarah:117
But HE have HIS own way. HIS own desire.
Take this word,
we were nothing and then we are something.
We will be nothing again will return to the reason of everything.
"...That they are to return to HIM.” Baqarah:46
That is the CREATOR.
For those who believe, it is ALLAH.
And for those who don't, please, just think about Islam for 5 minutes.
Google it or ask someone. Someone that knows about Islam, truthfully.
Or you can even ask me.
Because what I want, more than everything in this world (minus the love of ALLAH and HIS Messenger), is that those who doesn't believe in ALLAH as the ONLY CREATOR, to believe.
That's it.
Why?
Because I am too childish so I am demanding. Like a child.
I want you to not enter Jahannam, that is Hell. Not forever.
And for Muslims, not for even a second.
Because I love you so, because I know HE created you with love.
Think about it.
p.s: A simple doa for a simple yet truthfully a Muslim.
"RABBana, accept (this service) from us, for YOU are the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing." Baqarah: 127
Better in Arabic :D
FatahALLAHu'alaik.
WALLAHUa'lam.