Saturday, July 26, 2014

3rd year soon-to-be,

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

As usual, it had been a while.
So that's that.

Let us catch up each others' life, shall we.
After all, one's experiences shape one's expectations.

I left Egypt.
Chill. It is summer break, dear.

But the thing is, I wasn't planning to.

Therefore, why did I booked my ticket 4 days before flight, few hours after my last end-of-term paper and arrived at KLIA afterwards - alone -?

It was the tense.

My 2nd year as a medical student started with;

me wearing niqab, not special by the way,
financial assistance from Zakat and others, alhamduLILLAH,
a cosy bedroom for one,
friends and family.

Never did I though it will all, well, most of it... change throughout my academic year (Sept 2013-June 2014)

Few days back I was asked - again - of my reason not to wear niqab anymore.
It was pretty clear for me but for me myself, common senses are subjective.
I might see something normal but my best friend may see it as the end of the world!

Okay, kidding. But who knows?

So I'll skip my reasons but believe me, perfectly no harm is done.
And yes, insyaALLAH, as my future career in the line, no, I won't be wearing it anymore.
Though when I visit Imam I prefer to dress with what I like.

Next then.

AlhamduLILLAH I have no major financial issues.
I received many helps, not forgetting those who lend a hand in the first place and for whom might concern, I was offered with JPA's loan and I accepted it.

I really in need of your prayers.
Because I'm here not because of me.
May I graduate in time, ameen.

To the next point please, :)

I am pretty sure I wrote about my moving into Darul Hasani.
And it brought major effect to me mentally, physically, academically, you name it.
It is not about having all the things happening to you at once, no,
it is about how you handle it.

And in this case, how I handle my situation.

It wasn't genius nor even well-planned.
I wasn't thinking a lot and I preferred not to think - and - I dozed off a lot.

But the thing is, nothing will be settled if you (or I) didn't do anything.

Yes, it is a clear statement but no one is moving!

Each one of us has different problems.
Some can be solved in seconds like clicking Yes or No in accepting a terms of conditions of many online pages.
Some in minutes like what will you wear today.
Some in hours, days and even months or years.

You just don't know when todays' to-do-list will ever finish.
But you still have to accept that most of the time you won't be able to tick all the boxes in one day! And the next day you'll have another one whether you write it on paper or just making a mental note.

Like now, I am dying to come back to Egypt though in the first place I came home was to run from the hectic, busy (you kidding me right Amirah), hotness and all.

Now I know I can't.
An empty heart is an empty heart.

And for a normal commoner that had been written by HIM to serve students of knowledge at Darul Hasani...

I know whatever it is, I just have to remember HIM.

But that doesn't make anyone less than normal.
Syeikh always said to us not to see him a superman.

He eats, drinks, works, sleeps, has a family and all.

To actually be a Muslim doesn't mean you can't laugh at a joke.
Our Prophet s.a.w used to joke but He s.a.w did not lie during joking.
And He s.a.w smiled when He s.a.w was feeling happy.

So that was basically what I was keeping inside.

I just have to remember that as a Muslim, I have my duties to my GOD.
5 daily prayers, fasting during Ramadhan and etc.

As a human, I have my  duties to those around me.

To make a better self is perhaps one of a good way to make a better environment.
Home is where you heart is.

And at the end of the day,
death will cuts us off from these worldly affairs.

If I die seconds after this, then what is there to worry about?