Wednesday, July 24, 2013

He or she is not an angel!

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

 اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم

If I have to give an advice that I wish that will last forever,
I would say, insyaALLAH,

"Please treat a human like a human. He or she is not an angel!"

You might reply,

"Of course lah I know he's a human, what are you thinking? Pfft."

"Geez, we can't even see the angels with rough eyes! How could I - ever - think that she's an angel from above?"

My point is not about the physical that you are pointing at.
It is not about what you see. It is about how you see.

What are the differences? I'm not playing around with words.

To begin with,
did it crossed your mind how perfect someone's life is?

How he was born in a rich family.
How she never miss her usrah.
How he scored in each examination with flying colours.
How she knows how to cook perfectly.

And you are so jealous because it doesn't seem that you can see their flaw at all!

Had it crossed your mind? More or less something like that?

If I am right, then you are wrong. Slight. Not totally.
Because it is normal to somehow thinks like that.

What is not normal is when you are corrected again and again, you just don't listen.

But, human is human. We make mistakes. I make mistakes.

What I am trying to say is...
Please stop thinking in such a way.

If you keep on walking in this pace, you can't see the whole world just yet.

Because, once you see he or she makes mistakes, it will blow off your mind more than you can handle. You will find it difficult to keep your good impressions (husnu dzon).

On top of all,
the biggest problem somewhat will turn to you.

People will think you in that way.

People will think that you -- are an angel.

Again, not physically, but mentally.

Angels don't make mistakes!
But we did, and perhaps we are going to.

Just a slight mistake, and people will behave that you had sent a nuclear bomb somewhere!

And it will burden you.
You will ask GOD, "Whyyyy?"

Don't ask GOD why. HE is GOD.
That - you have to comprehend. HE is and always be GOD.

HE created us without asking, "Should I make you flawless?"

So why are we asking HIM, "Why did I made such a foolish thing?"


Because we are so full of ourselves.
We think the world is ours.
We don't see each other in different perspectives.
It is like wearing the same glass for 20 years, when your lens should have been change every 6 months or so.

Don't blame others for mistakes.
Don't simply use the word "istidraj".
Don't blame yourself too heavy for a mistake, or many mistakes, also.

If ALLAH had wanted you to be flawless, HE could.
If ALLAH had wanted you to be so evil, HE could.

But HE made you full of flaw - but - HE also teaches you how to repent.

This is the part I am really trigger to say -- "Sweet kan ALLAH?"
*Just because so many people use that line.

I would like to share you this,
and let you ponder.


Sunday, July 21, 2013

With-out it.

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

 اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم

Keputusan dibuat.

Semalam, hari ketiga tanpa niqab.

Ada yang bertanya, kenapa?
Jawapan: ALLAHua'lam.


Semalam dijemput iftar di rumah sahabat.
Tak pernah berjumpa sebelum ini, tahu-tahu saja rumah diziarahi.

Hampir saja membuat keputusan tidak pergi.

Entah kenapa, hati diasak. "Pergilah, terima jemputan."

Lalu kami pergi bersama satu-satunya ahli bayt yang masih di sini, Fatihah.

BismiLLAHi masyaALLAH,
sangat... mesra.

Boleh saja bayangkan kami duduk sahaja melihat petahnya adik Zainab yang berumur 16 tahun itu menggamitkan suasana.
Melihat kakak-kakak di sekitarnya sibuk mengatakan; "Apalah dengan Zainab ni."

Kekeluargaan yang sebegitu... pelik.

Duduk di atas sofa itu.

Memandang ke kiri dan ke kanan. Yang kanan berbicara, dipandang.
Yang kiri membalas, dipandang.


Lamanya tidak bertemu "orang baru".

Dahulu, kami selalu bertanya kepada sesiapa, "Nampak tak kita senyum?"
Sekadar ingin memastikan, bahawa mereka tahu.

Tengah senyum, nampak kan?


Hari pertama tanpa niqab, terkesan.
Sedang berjalan dari Suuq Sayyarat menuju ke Toob el-Ramly,
senyum melihat seorang anak kecil.

Dia yang sedang berjalan tiba-tiba mengalihkan pandangan kembali.

Membalas senyuman.


Adakah yang faham?
Perasaan senyuman dibalas, oleh entah siapa-siapa.

Setelah sekian lama.

Of course the after-effects of me not wearing niqab is not the reason-before I made my decision.

So here I am.

A roller coaster ride in Cairo.

HE sent me here, so I live.


Friday, July 12, 2013

A letter,

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

Something, not by me, to ponder upon:

"As for what follows, I am writing a letter to you in which I do not hold back right guidance and I do not omit counsel. It contains the praise of ALLAH Almighty and the adab of HIS Messenger s.a.w.

So consider that with your intellect, turn your eyes to it, and devote your hearing to it. Understand it with you intellect and apply your understanding. Do not allow your mind to let it slip away.

It contains excellence in this world and the good reward of ALLAH Almighty in the Next.

Remind yourself of the throes of death and its grief, and what will happen to you when it comes, and what you know follows after death: being presented before ALLAH Almighty, and then the Reckoning, and then remaining forever either in the Garden of the Fire. Prepare for it something to make the terrors of those sights and their distress easy for you.

If you were to see the people who incur wrath of ALLAH Almighty and the myriad punishments they are heading to and the severity of the vengeance of ALLAH,

and if you were to hear their moaning in the Fire and their groaning with their livid faces and the length of their grief and their being turned over in their faces in its bottom levels where they cannot hear or see while calling out for utter and final destruction --

and the most terrible thing of all for them is the pain when ALLAH Almighty turns away from them

and their hope is cut off from HIM and HIS answer to them after the long drawn-out sorrow is
'Slink down in it and do not speak.'

If you remind yourself of this, nothing of this world will seem of any importance to you. You will want to be saved from that. You have no security from its terror. Even if you were to offer all that the people of this world have to seek deliverance, that would be little.

If you were to see the people who obey ALLAH and what they are destined to receive by way of honour from ALLAH, their position of nearness to ALLAH Almighty, the freshness of their faces and the light of their colours, their joy in looking at HIM, and having a place with HIM and their rank in HIS sight along with nearness to HIM,

those thing of this world which you seek and which appear immense in your eyes would then seem insignificant.

Be careful not to allow your lower self to beguile you.

Deal with your lower self before it gets better of you and remember the distress it will feel when death alights.

Contend with your soul for ALLAH Almighty while you still have time.

If ALLAH permits, you will be able to bring benefit to yourself and avert the punishment from yourself before ALLAH takes charge of your Reckoning. Once it comes you will not be able to avert from your soul that which it will hate nor bring any benefit to it.

Give ALLAH Almighty a portion of your time by night and day."


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

'Amal during haidh [Ramadhan Edition]

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم

In addition to my previous seven substitutes ('Amal during haidh); I would write insyaALLAH an addition of seven more. This is what one might find ease to do during this holy month of Ramadhan.

I would try to make it vary from the previous but still in the circle of safeness, :)

May ALLAH redha.

Substitute number eight.

See some movies! Okaay, this is like an eye-opener is it? Well, that is exactly what I intended to do. Once I went to the house of one of my Syeikh here. I met her daughter and that wasn't a very perfect timing -- she was cleaning the house. So I sat in the room to wait for her and she convinced me to watch a movie.

A very nice, full-of-lessons movie.

Not to mention, it is Islamic! Yeay!

So I have to agree with this, a good two hours movie that fills your heart is better than taking two hours of nap because you just don't have anything to do. Get up and find some movies will you?

Substitute number nine.

Re-read the books. Yes, I admit this one is rather hard because I find myself too far from reaching those books that I already read. Uhuh.

But, no one will ever get everything correct during their first try trying sah? So, re-read your notes and books might amuse you to the extent that you think you had never read few parts of it before.

Substitute number ten.

Clean the toilet and kitchen.

Yes, I mentioned about doing some chores before, but now I am specifying that chores to two specific, above-mentioned place. Toilet and kitchen.

My Syeikh once said; "Those who are clean, tend to like clean places."

I had many thoughts about this matter. Well, to clean the toilet is not an easy task; moreover the kitchen. But, how about the heart itself? Hmm.

Substitute number eleven.

Memorize something that is not from the Quran. Well, such as, hadith and matan. Okaay, this might probably not applicable to those who are not in Islamic study field. But, what will do wrong for you dear engineers, to memorize some formula that you had struggle with before? What will do wrong for you dear doctors, to memorize some attachments of muscles and such?

There will be no harm insyaALLAH.

This is for your own good and education. You know it. Peace yo.

Substitute number twelve.

I actually can't believe I made it this far. AlhamduLILLAH.

Improve your second language! Such as? English or Arabic. Or... Germany perhaps? Eh? Where did that come from? Haha. Yes, you may choose what-ever language you want, as long as you focus on it my dear. Take it easy, and set a goal. You must at least know how to say... "I love you."



Substitute number thirteen.

Ukhwah. Yes, you read it right. Go out and join that usrah! Though I, myself, am running from usrah :P

Okaay, I might not be a good example of making a good relation with everybody. But, I see no harm in asking one to do so.

Pray for me. May ALLAH gives me the gut to be nicer. Ameen.

Substitute number fourteen.

AlhamduLILLAH. The last one.

Cook for iftar and sahur, (if you can make it).

Would it be nice, to see the smiles?

p.s: I am changing -- yet again -- about my opinion to music. Whatever reminds you of ALLAH, tafadhal. I will not go against it if and only if it is not involving something against the syariah.

For as music, obviously there are still khilaf.


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Censored words included!

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

Kami tak kuat.
Serius. Tak tipu. Angkat dua-dua tangan siap.
Kami tak kuat.

Entah, masih tak tercapai hasrat masa cuti.
Bagi badan rehat lagi. Masih berehat.

Kami minta DIA; dosa diampunkan.
Ingat senang?
Ingat senang nak rasa takut -- setakut-takutnya.
Ingat senang nak rasa mengharap -- setinggi-tingginya?

Tak. Tak senang bagi kami.

Nak minta ampun.
Macam mana?

Macam mana?

Tutup mata. ALLAH.
"Ampunkan aku ya ALLAH."

Lepas itu?

Pandang kiri pandang kanan atas bawah.
Kembali ke kehidupan asal.

Tahu... ALLAH sayang.
Tapi... Macam mana?
"Apa aku nak buat?" bisik hati kecil yang tak seberapa nak berbisik. Jerit.

"Apa aku nak buaaaaat?" Hm. Macam itu.


It is not like I am the best person-ever.

But; I have to do something! Move it move it. Let us move it move it. Eh.

It is not like I can recite Quran 24 hours. No.
But I try to listen to Quran whenever I am in front of Superkira.

It is not like I can qiam everyday. No.
But I try to. At least...


Tapi bapak-banyak-juga-dugaan.
Dugaan yang dicipta diri sendiri.


So what ALLAH gave me instead?
Fever+sore throat+flu.

This is not a musibah for me.
No. It is HIS sign of love.

Every pain is like an eraser. To change the paper that had bad scribbles, back to clean white sheet.


I know HE loves me.
It is just me, who is stumbling upon how to love HIM back.


I know, I know. YOU are there. YOU are here. YOU are within.

I love YOU.
Okaay, that is a sign for the angels besides me to read and be witness.
And one fine day, when I am sincere enough.
The love is not for me to share.

It is the time, I will beg HIM to take me back.