Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Censored words included!

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.


Kami tak kuat.
Serius. Tak tipu. Angkat dua-dua tangan siap.
Kami tak kuat.

Entah, masih tak tercapai hasrat masa cuti.
Bagi badan rehat lagi. Masih berehat.

Kami minta DIA; dosa diampunkan.
Ingat senang?
Ingat senang nak rasa takut -- setakut-takutnya.
Ingat senang nak rasa mengharap -- setinggi-tingginya?


Tak. Tak senang bagi kami.
Gila-banyak-dosa.

Nak minta ampun.
Macam mana?

Serius.
Macam mana?

Tutup mata. ALLAH.
"Ampunkan aku ya ALLAH."

Lepas itu?

Pandang kiri pandang kanan atas bawah.
Kembali ke kehidupan asal.

Tahu... ALLAH sayang.
Tapi... Macam mana?
"Apa aku nak buat?" bisik hati kecil yang tak seberapa nak berbisik. Jerit.

"Apa aku nak buaaaaat?" Hm. Macam itu.

Switch.

It is not like I am the best person-ever.

But; I have to do something! Move it move it. Let us move it move it. Eh.

It is not like I can recite Quran 24 hours. No.
But I try to listen to Quran whenever I am in front of Superkira.

It is not like I can qiam everyday. No.
But I try to. At least...

Tukar.

Bapak-banyak-alasan.
Tapi bapak-banyak-juga-dugaan.
Dugaan yang dicipta diri sendiri.

Switch.

So what ALLAH gave me instead?
Fever+sore throat+flu.

This is not a musibah for me.
No. It is HIS sign of love.

Every pain is like an eraser. To change the paper that had bad scribbles, back to clean white sheet.

Uhuh.

I know HE loves me.
It is just me, who is stumbling upon how to love HIM back.
SINCERELY.

GOD.

I know, I know. YOU are there. YOU are here. YOU are within.

I love YOU.
Okaay, that is a sign for the angels besides me to read and be witness.
And one fine day, when I am sincere enough.
The love is not for me to share.

It is the time, I will beg HIM to take me back.
To HIM.


ALLAHua'lam.

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم