Censored words included!

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

Kami tak kuat.
Serius. Tak tipu. Angkat dua-dua tangan siap.
Kami tak kuat.

 Entah, masih tak tercapai hasrat masa cuti.
Bagi badan rehat lagi. Masih berehat.

 Kami minta DIA; dosa diampunkan.
Ingat senang?
Ingat senang nak rasa takut -- setakut-takutnya.
Ingat senang nak rasa mengharap -- setinggi-tingginya?

Tak. Tak senang bagi kami.
Gila-banyak-dosa.

 Nak minta ampun.
Macam mana?

 Serius.
Macam mana?

 Tutup mata. ALLAH.
"Ampunkan aku ya ALLAH."

 Lepas itu?

 Pandang kiri pandang kanan atas bawah.
Kembali ke kehidupan asal.

 Tahu... ALLAH sayang.
Tapi... Macam mana?
"Apa aku nak buat?" bisik hati kecil yang tak seberapa nak berbisik. Jerit.

 "Apa aku nak buaaaaat?" Hm. Macam itu.

 Switch.

 It is not like I am the best person-ever.

 But; I have to do something! Move it move it. Let us move it move it. Eh.

 It is not like I can recite Quran 24 hours. No.
But I try to listen to Quran whenever I am in front of Superkira.

 It is not like I can qiam everyday. No.
But I try to. At least...

 Tukar.

 Bapak-banyak-alasan.
Tapi bapak-banyak-juga-dugaan.
Dugaan yang dicipta diri sendiri.

 Switch.

 So what ALLAH gave me instead?
Fever+sore throat+flu.

 This is not a musibah for me.
No. It is HIS sign of love.

Every pain is like an eraser. To change the paper that had bad scribbles, back to clean white sheet.

 Uhuh.

 I know HE loves me.
It is just me, who is stumbling upon how to love HIM back.
SINCERELY.

 GOD.

 I know, I know. YOU are there. YOU are here. YOU are within.

 I love YOU.
Okaay, that is a sign for the angels besides me to read and be witness.
And one fine day, when I am sincere enough.
The love is not for me to share.

 It is the time, I will beg HIM to take me back.
To HIM.

ALLAHua'lam.

Comments

Post a Comment

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Popular posts from this blog

Tips Kewangan Houseman - Langkah Pertama.

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum w.b.t. I had been planning to write about this for a long time but I am just so lazy XD But last few days I had contacted a friend of mine who is currently in the same position (housewife to a houseman) about financial things and because we were communicating through text, it was hard for me to explain the details of every step. I could only gave her outline but it really made me uncomfortable not having the chance to explain the details. So here we go~ First of all I would like to introduce myself and warning - this post is in two languages (English and Malay). I am currently a housewife and self-employed financial planner to my husband who just finished his housemanship, alhamduLILLAH. So I have a clear idea and two whole years of experience in managing a houseman salary. The tips that I share most suitable to singles/couples without kids. Next, let us move on to the pay check. How much will you earn as a houseman? Seca
Read more

Majmu' Syarif.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Update 16/5/2013: http://umairahazwani.blogspot.com/2013/05/wirid-yang-dinanti.html Ingin ku katakan, apa yang bakal ku sebutkan hanya pendapat semata-mata. Dan Allah Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu. Beberapa hari yang lepas, terlihatlah sebuah buku bertajuk, Majmu' Syarif. Pertama kali ku lihat dan tidak pernah ku ketahui sebelum ini. Jadi, diri memutuskan untuk melihat dan mempelajari apa yang di dalamnya. Buku yang ku baca itu terjemahan Melayu. Sedangkan kitab yang asal, tiada nama penulisnya. Dibahagikan kepada 30 bab, dimulakan dengan Fadhilat Surah Pilihan dan disusuli dengan pelbagai doa. Pada 10 bab pertama yang menerangkan fadhilat surah-surah, tidak merasakan apa-apa yang pelik di situ lalu diteruskan pembacaan dan sekali gus cubaan menghafal isi-isinya. Sehinggalah kepada bab yang menerangkan fadhilat doa. Kerana terdapat 20 bab yang selebihnya dipenuhi dengan doa, hanya 5 bab pertama saja yang dibaca. Kerana pernah ku baca,
Read more

Tips Kewangan Houseman - Langkah Kedua.

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Part two here we go~ Balance from previous post: RM4550. Some people call it commitment, some call it expenses, I call it responsibility. The second step in managing finance is:  1. Responsibility to yourself. You have to put aside a portion of your income for self suste nance.  1. A roof over your head = rental/own house/room . 2. Bills = electric, water, sewer. My husband rented a room when he started his housemanship, the rent was RM300 . The house was occupied by other renters but I wanted him to pay the bills first; then collect the amount needed from each renter. When you know your bills, you know if something went wrong so you can adjust your usage. Rarely the water and sewer bills fluctuates but electric bills depends on weather, electrical appliances and multiple factors. Average total bills for a month: RM140 Balance: RM4550-RM300-RM140 = RM4110. 2. Responsibility to institutions. For this part, al
Read more