Saturday, August 27, 2011

My Cinderella shoes,

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.


I just bought a pair of new shoes :D
And it is officially, if I'm not mistaken,
the first time ever,
I bought shoes with flowers on it.

I usually bought sport shoes or sneakers.
I wore those shoes to everywhere.
But then, on graduation day last year,
some of the teachers personally asked me to wear high heels.
Or at least, not sport shoes.

So I borrowed my sisters' heels and wore it on that day.

As soon as I received my graduation slip,
I took off the shoes and walked around with bare foot.

I was weird, and still am.

This year, I want to be more feminine.
At least, I wanted people to recognise me as a girl.
So I bought the shoes,
my sisters said to me "It is awkward to see you wearing shoes with flower,"
and she gave me this weird look.

As far as I know,
I don't care id it is a girlie shoes or sport shoes.
As long as I can wear it comfortably,
it will be my Cinderella shoes.

Wallahua'lam. Jazakallah, barakallah 'alaika.

Niqab, how to eat.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I'm home in Shah Alam C:
Since yesterday.

I have quite a journey from PJ to SA.
Somehow exciting, somehow intimidating.
And I was all alone.

Wearing niqab and red baju kurung.
I brought along three luggages.
Heavy luggages.

First note, do not ever bring heavy luggages if you are travelling using public transport.

In the bus, it was nothing but usual.
However, when I was walking from KL monorail station to KL central,
I noticed that I was being followed,
by a man.

He stared at me, I thought he felt weird about my appearance.
Then I noticed he was staring at my left hand.
I was carrying a bag and on top of it was a blue dolphin plushie.
On second thought, ok, he felt weird of the existence of the plushie.
Yet again, he kept staring and walked besides me.
Not until the last minute I realised I was holding my phone with the same hand.
Is it -- he was aiming to snatch my belongings?
(MasyaAllah, dah bersangka buruk)

I stopped.
He walked.
He stopped and looked at me.
I was scared.

I walked again.
He walked besides me.
I stopped and stared right into his eyes.
Then he realised that I realised,
and he left.
I waited for a few minutes before I continue my walk.

As I arrived at the central, I noticed that there's television casts.
Nothing special, really.
I bought my ticket and Angah called.

He asked where I was and as I told him how heavy my luggages were, I settled down at a corner.
Suddenly he said,
"Sit at a chair, don't sit at a corner."
I was surprised and I said, "I just did."
"Thought so," he laughed.
He knew me too well, I guess.

Then I walked to the food court.
I was planning to leave my luggages somewhere, but Angah said no.
So I recklessly brought all the luggages up all the way to the food court.
It was 6.30 p.m.
I chose my sit and recite Quran.

when I stood up to buy some food,
I thought, oh no, I am wearing the wrong type of niqab.

I have two types of niqab.
First, the clip-on.
This one is seriously easy to wear and eating becomes so easy.
You can even eat rice without having your niqab accidentally becomes dirty.
Second, the stick-on.
Easy to use, double layer, but not that easy to eat with.

I am wearing the second one.
And somehow I noticed people watched my moves.
They were waiting for me to eat.
(Apakah memang selalu begini?)

So I bought Yong Tau Foo.
And I waited for Azan.
When the time for iftar comes, I drank my Ice Lemon Tea and went to the toilet.

Because there are certain "rules" for me when I want to eat using my niqab.
I don't know about other niqab-ers but I think most of us are the same :)

1. Adjusting the niqab.

I always wear my niqab as tight as possible. And for the stick-on, I stick my niqab inside my hijab. So it is tight but comfortable. You don't want winds to easily blow your niqab and accidentally shows your face.

So when I want to eat, I will stick my niqab outside of my hijab and not as tight as before. So it is easy for me to move my niqab a little and eat. But I won't prefer anyone to eat rice or something difficult. And I use fork and spoon to eat. Of course, I drink using a straw.

2. Wear a clip-on niqab instead.

This type of niqab is very easy to use.
There's not even a thing to explain.
I just move my niqab a little and eat everything I can.

3. Sit at a corner where everyone else don't see you and take down your niqab.

This, I always did when I travel with cars.
I bought something and eat inside the cars instead if the shops.
I also saw a niqab-er do this at the central.

So, that's three.
The first time I wear niqab, it was back when I was 15. 
Public school doesn't allow their students to wear niqab.
Then I wear it again when I was 17.
Now, that I am turning 18, eventhough I am not a total niqab-er,
I wish, someday, Allah will bless my journey with an easier path.

Another thing that I want to share on this post,
is that, trust in Allah is very important to every Muslim.
Before I started my journey back to SA, I prayed and recite Ma'thurat.
And I was putting my faith only to Allah.

During my time at the central,
I, as reckless as I am, put my things everywhere.
My phone, bag containing laptop.
But I felt no worries as I know Allah is there for me.
And I didn't lose a thing.

Even at CFS, I left my purse anywhere everytime I think that it is too heavy to carry.
I never short a cent.

Allah, is our only protector.
Put you trust in Him, and insyaAllah, He is and always be there.

Jazakallah, barakallah 'alaikum.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Assembled in,

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Abah just came back from Japan.
I got a new watch :)

Eventhough I usually doesn't wear anything on my wrist,
I think I can spare a space for a white-watch.

Today is officially the starting of the 10 last nights of Ramadhan.
And one of it is LailatulQadr.
Oh Allah, please give us, the ummah of prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h, the barakah of LailatulQadr.
The night that is better than 1000 nights.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Storyline dan em, kahwin awal?

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

After drinking a bottle of Ice Lemon Tea,
and murmuring things at my meeting with the committees,
and humiliating myself,
I declare,

my stress is less.

"kahwin awal"?
Bakpo nak kawe awal2 ni~?


It's a good thing, you know.
But it is not easy.
Especially for me.

To those who knows my story, you know my storyline.
To those who don't, believe me, I am trying hard enough to forget.

It is not easy to like someone who likes you,
and it is not easy to be like by someone you like.

AND it is not easy to pretend to like someone that likes you.

I really wish, somehow, there is, someone,
that knows who I am accidentally.
That when I smile, he smile,
when I create phrases, he will be able to continue it,
when I am sad, he'll give me Ice Lemon Tea.

And perhaps, if I am lucky enough, that particular person will always be by my side,
even without me knowing about it.

I have yet wrote many, many untold stories.
Those stories are just waiting to be read, by those who deserve.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Niqab, the journey not being told.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t



I sacrificed my time a lot to do works and study and yet, I am not smart enough.
And now, I might have to sacrifice more than time.


If you still don't get it. Stop.
I'm wasting your time.


Right, lets move on.
Mid sem was over. And I got my marks for Maths. Oh pleaseee, the whole world knows that I hate Maths since, well, forever. I believe it started from Standard 6. So my mark is a so-so.
However, I'm grateful, I am.
But then, my sister got an A for her Add Maths recently. My brothers got high marks in Maths and well, my elder sister is studying Maths at UiTM.

I just can't understand why.
Why must I be the one who struggle with Maths?

But --

Alhamdulillah, I am okay with other subjects.

Move on yet again,

There's an event in 3 weeks time, making me busier than ever.
It's not bothering me but other things did.
Things like, am I suitable to be an engineer.
An automotive engineer to be precise.


In the middle of these, suddenly received a text.
And my brain stop working.
I was stunned by what I read and I demand explanation right away.
And I got it from one side. The other? Dream Amirah, dream.

I will keep dreaming.
Dreaming for an A for Maths.
Dreaming that I can sleep for hours everyday. Because now I only slept for two or so.
Dreaming, for someone to look at me and say, I forgive you.
At least, a call or text would do just the same.

Ramadhan Mubarak: Bless with Bliss, InsyaAllah.