Friday, December 30, 2011

If I can't see.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I'm home.
Since the day before yesterday.

Before I had the chance to be back in Shah Alam, I had to make sure few things:

  1. The "Forum: When The Heart Whispers" paperwork have all the signs it needed.
  2. All the stuffs in the box of ENGENIUS be sorted out.
  3. All my stuffs every where in KC124 be sorted out.
So I started with the box of ENGENIUS. The box that had been passed through from secretary to another secretary throughout the years. Can you believe how old those papers in the box are? I hereby give you one proof:


The forms were only available during the time Centre for Foundation Study (CFS) was called Matriculation Centre and it was years ago. Ancient.

So it was another night at mahallah and I started after Isya'. I stopped at 30 minutes after 1. Most of the papers were neatly arranged in two different boxes. I just love to do things like that -- cleaning up, arranging things and put it in somewhere easy to find. Eventhough most of the time only I could find it :D It is a part of secretarial job, the vow I made when I had been elected. It was hard, that night during the election day. What people saw were just a good speech and smiles, but in my heart, and all the hearts of others I believe; was this sense of nervousness of having to take a huge responsibility. ENGENIUS is the largest society by far with members over 1000 students per batch.

As funny as it is, one of the things people said to me during the election night was;
"Your mask is slightly off," (Topeng awak senget)

Uhuh, we got ourselves covered by an eye mask for each one of us. I wore white, the colour I hadn't wear for a long time and I won't prefer to either. I have a thing for black.

I made the vow, and my heart trembled when I received the position.

"IMAM GHAZALI Apa yang paling berat didunia?

Murid 1: Baja
Murid 2: Besi
Murid 3: Gajah

Imam Ghazali: Semua itu benar, tapi yang paling berat adalah MEMEGANG AMANAH Tumbuh-tumbuhan, binatang, gunung, dan malaikat semua tidak
mampu ketika Allah SWT meminta mereka menjadi khalifah
pemimpin) di dunia ini. Tetapi manusia dengan sombongnya berebut-rebut menyanggupi permintaan Allah SWT sehingga banyak manusia masuk ke neraka kerana gagal memegang amanah (Surah Al-Azab : 72 )"

I got the signs for the paperwork all except one because the Deputy Dean of DOSP was on his holidays. Eventually, I'll be back to CFS next week to get it done, insyaAllah. Ami picked me up after Zohor and alhamdulillah, I reached home safely. It was weird, to be home. My physical might be here, but my heart? I don't know. Wallahua'lam. I even draft this post for a day now. Hm.

I went to the optometrist last night and founded that my eyes had gone worse. It wasn't like I am going to be blind, but perhaps, I will suffer severe myopia. So it crossed my mind, what if.

What if...

I can't see?

If I can't see you, can't read books, can't recite al-Quran by reading it, can't see where am I going or walking, if I am blind.

What if, I can't see you?

Will you still like me then, as a friend, as a person?
Will you still be friend with me?
Will you stay with me and just stay?
and listen if I cry, and I can't even see my tears?

and help me, and tell me, Allah will always be there.
He will.

فَاذْكُرُونِي أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَاشْكُرُوا لِي وَلا تَكْفُرُونِ
Dan bersyukurlah kepada-Ku, dan janganlah kamu mengingkari (nikmat)-Ku.” (Al-Baqarah: 152)


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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم