Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The point.

"Assalamualaikum w.b.t

What is the point?”

The question keep popping in my mind. I always do things. However important, absurd or random that particular thing is, I always, did it. Why?

From time to time, the points of doing things hit me right in the head. There's no light bulb, for sure. Yet, I found the reasons.

The closest example I can get is the accidents that occurred this whole day.

My day stared bright and great. I was waiting eagerly for my Maths paper. I woke up early, went to the examination venue early, and waited. What's the point of waiting? I say, it give me time to revise. I read things I never thought I will read. It came out in the exam.

Then, the exam started. I answered all, most of it using pen. I read all the questions first. What's the point? I say, so I can answer the easiest question for me first. I did 10,9,8, all matrices, first.

I walked slowly back to my room. What's the point? I say, allowing myself to think whether to eat or not. I ate. Veggies.

Arrived at my room, went to next door. What's the point? I say, suddenly I felt the courage to borrow a book. I read it for a few hours now.

Out of the blue, I washed all my clothes. What's the point? I say, I'm going home this Monday, for good.

I went to the bridge to study Physics instead of Computer. What's the point? I say, computer will make me feel drowsy. Physics, on the other hand, is a lot interesting and it makes me think. I suddenly realised why I was so in love with Physics throughout the years.

I had a row with my roommate. Long, long story. I was hurt. I am hurt. What's the point? I say, well, I say, I don't know yet.

Just now, I received a whole bunch of ENGENIUS forms. It was intended to be lying around somewhere in my room. Suddenly I felt like looking through the forms. What's the point? I say, I found out that more than a half of ENGENIUSes came from low-income family. It broke my heart, for not knowing.

Just now, I looked out of the window. There was an accident. What's the point? I say, it made me realise, somehow, somewhere in this world, there is someone, anyone who is going through hard times in life.

What's the point?

Amirah Hazwani, what's the point?

You write something as you think. You always do. You had experienced millions of things, as the half of the world also had.

What's the point, Kira?
What's the point, Goggles?

Wani, answer.

I say, perhaps, sometimes, we don't need any points. I don't have an argument about me studying things I hate, such as Maths. I don't argue when I have to enter CFS. I don't argue when I argue.

I was told to, keep silent. Sometimes, I do feel sad. But I hold my tears. Sometimes, I do feel angry. But I keep it inside. Most of the time, I do feel happy. I smiled.

Most of the times, less is more. Not everyone in the world can read my gestures. Not everyone in the world can look at another person, and knows exactly what he or she is thinking. I have, comparing myself to others, well, felt deserted. One minor thing I have longing to say; the world doesn't revolve around you.

But you might be the world for somebody, or more.

I want one thing. A closure. This is the end of semester. I don't know thousands of people here in CFS and they didn't know me either. So, lets reintroduce.

Hi, my name is Amirah Hazwani. And you are?


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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم