Niqab, the second hardest journey.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.




How do you feel?


When someone post you picture online, in the world wide web?




For most people, it is ok.
No harm is done.


But for me?


It is everything.




I know, I am still not wearing niqab everywhere I go.
But I wear it, every time I could.
Here in CFS, we are not allowed to wear niqab anywhere.
But I broke the rules.
I wear it to attend meetings and when I go out.


People might say,
they can see me during class hours or when I go to the library.


Here is my reply,
not all of you might see me.


There are thousands of students here in CFS.
Choose someone and ask, 'do you know Amirah Hazwani?'


If he or she reply with a yes,
ask again,
'Have you ever seen her face?'


Some of them will reply yes, some will not.


If he or she reply with a no,
then that person never sees me, insyaAllah.


That is my point.




It is not that I want to prove that something.
It is not that I want to brag about me wearing niqab.
But it is me trying to say that, sometimes, people doesn't want to show off their faces.


There's reasons why I wear niqab.


And I personally ask everyone to delete my previous photos.
What will they say,
if they see my current photos been uploaded?


Before this, I was in a very good mood.
My maths carry mark broke my heart, but it is still fine.


But this?
It feels like my broken heart can't be fixed.


The best word to described how I feel -- humiliated.






Wallahua'lam.