During previous examination, I spent a lot of my time alone.
It was the last ten night of Ramadhan, it was examination week.
During Ramadhan itself, my schedule had not been as usual.
I didn't even remember going to Blok E as usual.
There were iftar invitation everyday, or if not, I would have went to the mosque.
I remembered the time during talaqqi, when we were studying The Chapter of I'tiqaf from the book at-Tanbih.
But it wasn't my topic for today.
It is my mothers' birthday as the matter of fact.
It took me a long time to think, why parents are important in our lives?
And why, we could not ever pay what they had done for us.
Once I read a story, regarding a Muslim. He took care of his old mother. To cut it short and to make clear what he had done for his mother, he even took his mother performing Hajj by carrying her behind his back.
And he asked Prophet Muhammad s.a.w, whether he had done enough to return back whatever had his mother struggled while raising him. The answer is no.
No, it wasn't enough.
So I was very curious indeed; why?
Why can't all his sacrifices be equal to what his mother did for him?
I found the answer, while I was studying, from a mosquito.
It was the last night before the last paper.
I hadn't slept for hours, drank cups of Nescafe, and the next day would be Maths.
Usually I was alone, but that night, a bunch of juniors decided to study at the surau also.
I wasn't very happy at first.
So ignoring was the only option.
It was when all of them fell asleep I finally gained tranquillity.
But there was too many mosquitoes.
Even my palms had blood marks.
So I closed all the windows, and continue my study.
Because of the blood marks, I realised that if it wasn't mine, it must be theirs.
So I look over them, and saw a mosquito hovering around one of them.
I felt very disturbed, wanted to kill the mosquito right away.
Waited for a while before I did, perhaps the right one. I can't differentiate mosquitoes.
And that was when, I realised why a mother sacrifice is so huge, it can't be paid with anything.
Can you just imagine when we were just a few kilograms sleeping endlessly, our mother protected us from every mosquito that passed her eyes?
Plus all the other things that we know she did it for us?
She can decide not to get married, not to have kids, not to raise us.
But she did it anyway.
She had multiple choices, but she chose her children.
All the money, her health, time and even her mind.
My mother chose me.
And ALLAH chose my mother for me.
How could I ever be so ungrateful?
Sanah Helwa, ami.
Barakallah 'alaik fi kulli hal.
I wish to put a smile on you everyday, C: