I woke up,
with the mind set of going to Masjid al-Mukarramah.
There will be a Kuliyyah by Syeikh Fahmi Zamzam an-Nadwi al-Maliki. I missed the previous one for a reason.
It will be my third time attending the Kuliyyah, but the fourth time going to the mosque.
Lingering around the house, and ami offered a ride to the bus stop. She was in a rush, I was in a rush. And not until I arrived at the bus stop that I realizes, I didn't bring my Quran. I texted ami but the bus had arrived. Never I travel without my Quran.
Looking at the bus, looking at my wallet and the time.
I have my small Yasin and the bus was there. I stepped into it and there goes the bus. Certainly I was heart broken, but I think it shall remind me every moment from now on, to hold to my Quran. The one I always carry around was given by beloved Fatin Husna binti Hamka.
In the bus, I sat besides a fair lady, who is a Muslim. Her name; Zaharah. She is currently working on two jobs also, plus, the pay will be for her college fee, also. I was stunned. She was, just like me.
I dropped by at the central and boarded the KTM to Kepong Sentral. And, again, I boarded the wrong bus. It was suppose to be U86 but as reckless as I am, I went ahead to U8. When I realised what the bus driver meant but not actually going “inside” Bandar Sri Damansara. It means that, I have to walk from the highway to the exit leading to Bandar Sri Damansara.
NEW EXPERIENCE (*≧▽≦)♪
Definitely, not going to do that again. InsyaAllah.
My next mission was to find a cab for a 3 minute journey to the mosque from the exit. I walked and walked. Founded a taxi at the gas station but he said no. I was sad, crushed, of course. But then I continue my walk, when suddenly I saw a car stopped besides me; it was the cab I just mentioned.
I was startled, thankfully delighted. Alhamdulillah.
Arrived at the mosque few minutes later and I was myself again. Sat where I can see Syeikh Fahmi and listened to every words he said. I borrowed someone pen and she asked me whether I was in high school. When I answered no, she stated that it was because of my voice that she thought I was younger than I actually am.
Writing this down, I remember one day when I received a call and the caller asked for Amirah Hazwani. I told her that it was me who picked up and then she asked what is my age. She mentioned that she thought the one who picked up was a kindergarten or elementary school kid.
I think, I am getting used to it by now.
For the third time also, I stayed until Zohr and left. For the first time I was there, someone gave me a ride. This time, and the last one, I walked to the bus stop.
I gave my thought a lot whenever I walk.
Because I haven't really have much time lately. There was a day when I didn't finish my Quran reciting and I was still reciting when I fell asleep. That day, I dreamt of my ustaz with me in front of him, having to recite the Quran where I left it. He also made me memorize new page.
He said something about muamalat.
And I woke up,
did everything I should and turned on the television. I wasn't a viewer of “Reflection” by Imam Suhaib Webb but I watch it when I watch it. He mentioned about Muamalat with Allah. Muamalat with Habibuna Rasulullah s.a.w. Muamalat with people and others.
I guess, it really hits me in the face, telling me I should take care of my 'ibadah.
There was a night, that I dreamt, of me praying when at the day, I felt that I wasn't praying enough.
Well, truth to be told, dreaming wasn't a big deal. I should have wake up and recite the Quran in real world. I should have wake up and pray.
Allah is reminding me of these things. That I haven't take enough care of my 'amal. What I was thinking about was my amal.
'Amal and amal must be balance.
Saying things, writing things, are easy. You could easily influence one people with your words. I myself can be influence by other people words.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ
But the thing is, you just can't deny, as a Muslim, we are living because of Allah.
We are breathing because of Allah.
We are writing because of Allah.
Allah had never chosen me over you nor chosen you over me.
We are all human, at the same level, with the status of the ummah of the most beloved Prophet, Muhammad s.a.w.
Are you even dare to say that you wish to be the ummah of other prophet?
We could say the word love, we can even write it anywhere. In blogs, facebook wall, twitter.
Yet, aren't we suppose to find a way to say it, by ourselves?
I couldn't imagine of dreaming, the dream that everyone else wishing for.
Meeting with Habibuna s.a.w.
How could I?
With the sins I made, with the little deeds I performed.
With no special assignment I submit, with less presentation I took part.
How could I?
That is a part of the reasons, why I don't think I am weird.
Why I don't think running around to talaqqi or kuliyyah or talk is different from any other person activity in this whole world.
We are not different, at all.
Niqab or hijab doesn't make a distinctive point that separates Muslims.
No engineer would invent something useless.
Neither do Allah. He won't create a useless human.
We may forgot, but He would remind us.
With His way. He might send someone, something or even the wind.
One of the moment when I was walking to Blok E, I arrived there and stood for a second.
The wind blew, the trees moving and I smiled back.
It wasn't coincidence because Allah knows everything.
It wasn't special because I wasn't the only creation who is there.
It just the matter of how we translate things.
Like this post I wrote, from a simple travel log to something I didn't plan to write at all.
All I can say is,
p.s: abstract from the story of Rabiah Adawiyah,
"If I could put off the fire of Hell,
If I could burn Heaven,
then why should we perform 'ibadah?
Change your mind set if you can,
we are solely performing 'ibadah, for HIM."