Saturday, June 1, 2013

He shook my hand.

Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.

اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم

I watched this video earlier and it triggered my memories.

One or two years back, I was invited by one of my closest friend who live nearby.
Her name is Farah Aisyah by the way :)

She was having a feast for her relatives and really we were close and still is insyaALLAH.
So I went there and stayed until the last minute.

I was wearing my usual hijab and all.
And believe me it was a long-enough hijab.
I will explain why I mention this afterwards insyaALLAH.

There was a women and a child left.
They were waiting for her husband, who is a relative of Farah if I'm not mistaken.
He showed up at last, ate some food and was ready to leave.

We all stood up, as a sign of respect and they shook hands with each other.
Suddenly, he offered his hand to me.
And I was like -- EH?

The first thing that crossed my mind was,
"Hadn't he see my hijab?"
The second thing,
"Isn't it long enough?"

Everyone stared. What I did was, I shook his hand back -- as quickly as I can.
It was merely a reflect action believe me.
The reflect action when someone gave his or her hand and you can't think of any better way to push it away.

I felt -- wrong.
And I told Farah. She comforted me and she told me that it was an accident and it doesn't count as a sin.

I forgot about it few days later and live on with my life.

Until I saw the video.

Truth to be told, who I am right now is not who I was.
It applies to everyone. A Muslim or not. General application - believe me.

In Islam, we have rules.
We can't shake hands and all with a different gender.
Every rule have it benefits and ALLAH had made it a guideline.

It is safer for everyone, not to have free relations with the other gender.
But it does not mean that we can't make friends.
For those who know me personally, they know how my relation with others well.

I am one of those, whatever you call it, a very hyper-active person.
I make friends with those I want to be friends with.
And in most situation, everyone in the room. Boys or girls.

There was not a slightest problem for us when it come to this "no-you-can't-touch-me" rules.
I am being frank here, and I want to be truthful.
All out. Please digest it in your mind carefully because I am not forcing you to read this.
But if you do, please, do comprehend.

We don't have a problem because we understand each other.
And friendship is not all about physical contact. I don't even think friendship is based on physical contact - at all.
I think most of us agree with this.

However, there will be a problem when:

1. The others doesn't know about this.
2. Those who know doesn't understand why the other party doesn't know.

Public relation is crucial.
You are not living in this world alone.

There are people who doesn't know about certain things in each religion.
Come on, even the simplest Math took us time, how can we expect everyone to understand each one of us? It might be a general knowledge for you, but you have to face it, it is not for everyone.

Therefore, for me, how the Syeikh (see video above) react was acceptable.
And for my situation above also, perhaps it was not the best solution because I can just say no, but it was a solution. It was and still is.

This part below is a note for my fellow Muslims:
If you study fiqh, you will know that there are obviously khilaf in this problem. There are many opinions from fuqaha' regarding this matter. Even in our mazhab, Syafi'iyyah. Please don't condemn people or having bad thoughts, when you yourself doesn't take the chance to study your religion thoroughly.

Some people doesn't know, so live with it.
Tell them nicely and with manner.

I am being strict with you, because you are being strict with everyone else in this world.
Including yourself.
I know that feeling when you get yourself corrected. I know. It's not an easy feeling but it is good for your future.

Okay, let us get back to the straight path.

You can't change what you did.
I can't rewind my time.

But what each of us can do is, to know how to react afterwards.


You expect yourself to cry 24 hours over it?

It is good -- to cry over your sins.
GOD is Most Merciful and Most Forgiving.
If HE wants HIS creation to like an angel, HE would have created us as an angel.
But HE doesn't. And HE did not create us born-to-be-devil also.
If HE did, then there will be no nice persons around.

Maybe HE wants you to feel guilty and to have a long thought about what you did over this time.
To think about what you did wrong and apologise to HIM.

Maybe HE wants you to know that there are people who doesn't know about something.
Just like you doesn't know that some opinions of fuqaha' about this matter.

Maybe HE wants you to learn how to react.
How to explain to those who doesn't know.


Differentiate ourselves from the animals.
We eat, they eat. We sleep, they sleep. We work, they also running around.
But we have brains to be used. Not to let it rotten.

Everything have it good sides and bad sides.
See the good and bright sides. Because if you live the other way round, I don't think you will be happy.

This is a long post, I know.
But, something have to be clear.

You might wear a long hijab,
you might even wear niqab.
You might wear a turban,
you might even hold tasbeeh in your hands.

But, to some people, especially those who live in a very open-minded environment,
you are just simply another human in this world.

Simple example, my Syeikh is a Syeikh to me.
But for you?
If you had seen him for a distance, you might just think him as another Arab Muslim.
So does the non-Muslims. They might even see him as just another person.

p.s: I love and respect my Syeikh by the way.

I end my opinion with a hope.
Syadid in religion is good, syariah is there for a reason.
But everything have boundaries and limitations.
Apply your religion as perfect as you can.

I know some people want to isolate themselves from this dunya (world),
but to jump-straight-to-the-point of isolation, just think for a second,
ALLAH had created us all.

There must be a reason for those people around you to at least -- exist.




Tell me if you have a different opinion in this matter. Don't be afraid.
Come on, we have different brains.
What I don't tolerate is, to condemn somebody's opinion, behind the person.
What are we? Chickens?
Even chickens don't do that.

Yes, that one is harsh.
I am sick of back-biting.
May GOD save us.

1 comment:

  1. wow...that's really a big and nice thought indeed..

    i'm agree with you. sometimes, when our 'muhrim' intended to shook hand with us, we might be hesitated - to accept it or to decline. if you choose to decline it, then decline it nicely without hurting his feeling. and i think it is the best way rather than shook his hand straight away..i can understand your place at the moment because I was in the same shoes before.

    it is our duty to correct them. not isolating this people immediately. :)


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم