Hidupku, matiku hanya untuk Allah.

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. These days, I lost myself. I try to grasp the idea of gaining back but it doesn't brings much effect as I wanted it to be. As... I want. *sigh* The nafs wants everything. The last day Syeikh was here, I waved from the house. It was morning and I looked bad enough to go out and stand by the car. So I didn't and stayed. The house turned very quiet afterwards, very. We know he will be gone for at least 2 months. For few seconds only after he left... we felt... missing. At least I do. Study week came shortly afterwards. Our daily classes became weekly on basis. Once per week. Not even the Friday's night "Majlis Selawat". I wasn't even very sure what went wrong. But I did ran away. I packed my bags and poof, I was on the bus to Ramsis. Poof, I was on the tremco to Tanta. Spent a night, train to Alex. Spent a night, car to Mansoura. S...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. It's been a while. Isn't it? Last post was on November and poof, here I am. May 2014. 20 years old, reaching that 21 this October insyaALLAH. Bits from here and there. So alhamduLILLAH I had finished the semester and currently in my study week just before the final examination. Egypt is as always, as you can read it on the news or happen to experience it by yourself. Truth to be told, I was scrolling around the previous posts. It was like a memory lane, it is, indeed. Ups and downs. There are things that I don't even want to remember. I don't wish it doesn't happen but something so devastating just need to... disappear? Well, anyway... Those are the things that made what I am today, isn't it? No, I can't agree more. At the beginning of the academic year, it happened that I was destined to this beautiful house of Rumah Kenyalang, the residency for Sarawakian...

BismiLLAHirrahmirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. Berapa bulan menyepi. Aku hanya melihat perubahan alam ini. Sahabat aku berubah. Persekitaran aku berubah. Keadaan aku berubah. Aku sendiri, sudah berubah. "Sesungguhnya orang yang takut (melanggar hukum) TUHANnya semasa mereka tidak dilihat orang dan semasa mereka tidak melihat azab TUHAN, mereka beroleh keampunan dan pahala yang besar." 67:12 Aku berjalan ke majlis hari Jumaat. Perhatian ditumpukan sedikit kepada kasut yang sudah berlubang di hadapan. Berfikir pula tentang sepasang lagi yang sudah haus dan berlubang di bahagian bawah yang berada di rumah. Berkira-kira mahu membuang keduanya dan membeli yang baru. Ketika itu aku dipertemukan, dua kanak-kanak kecil keluar dari imarah (bangunan) mereka. Aku memperhatikan pakaian mereka dan tahulah aku bahawa mereka bukan dari keluarga yang senang mahupun sederhana. Pandangan jatuh kepada kasut yang dipakai. Aduhai, selipar itu lebi...

Last travel log posted: 6th February 2013 BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. I was like a rusty nail. Waking up on a Sunday morning, I tried to be... good. I had plans on my mind. Will leave the house insyaALLAH around 12, heading to USJ 1, then to Gombak. Specifically - I was heading to Madrasah at-Tazkiah. For the first time, after I was evacuated. Ahha, that's it. The big news I suppose. I was evacuated by my government from sweet home Egypt. First chartered flight I was thrown into. AlhamduLILLAH, bit by bit I see the reasons. I was trembling last week, when I gave my first visit to Madrasah at-Tazkiah. But the students told me that there was no class. So I came back this week, more relaxed. p.s: Ami dropped me off. The venue had changed. From Surau as-Syafie to the cabin inside the Madrasah's territory itself. I heard a familiar voice. I thought it was al-Habib Ali. But I was wrong indeed. It was al-Habi...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.  اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم GOD inspired David [Daud] a.s. by saying, “If those who turn from ME knew how I wait for them and  how tenderly I treat them  and how I long for them to desist from their sins,  they would die out of sheer longing for ME  and  their limbs would be hacked into pieces for love of ME. O David, this is MY will for those who turn away from ME. How then would MY will be for those who come towards ME? O David, man needs ME most when he thinks to dispense with ME I am most compassionate of My servant when he turns to ME  but  man is most sublime when he comes back to ME.” - Imam al-Ghazzali in his Iyha Ulūm al-Dīn - “I know of nothing more useful to you than four matters: surrender to ALLAH, to humbly entreat HIM, to think the best of HIM, and to perpetually renew your repenta...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh.  اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم 10 pesanan tarbiyyah Syeikhuna as-Sharif Yusuf Muhyiddin al-Bakhour al-Hasani. 1. Hendaklah mengenal orang yang kamu pilih sebagai sahabat. 2. Sentiasa bermuzakarah dengan Syeikh (Murobbi) atau Pengasuh. 3. Jangan tinggalkan zikir dan majlis ilmu. 4. Muhasabah sebelum tidur akan perbuatan-perbuatan yang telah dilakukan. 5. Berhusnu-dzon (baik sangka) kepada orang lain. 6. Pertimbangkanlah sebelum berbuat dan bertindak. 7. Gunakan pelbagai kesempatan dengan perkara-perkara yang baik dan jangan bermalas-malas. 8. Perbanyak ibadah-ibadah sunat, khususnya di waktu malam hingga fajar. 9. Senantiasa lahirkan (perbaharui) semangat dan tidak menunda-nunda dalam melakukan kebaikan. 10. Jadikanlah kekeliruan dan kesalahanmu sebagai pelajaran baru atau pesan rahsia dari ALLAH untuk kesempurnaanmu. ***** 10 pesanan Syeikh...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم Sebenarnya, aku... takut akan Ramadhan. Benar. Sungguh. Tak tipu. Ramadhan itu suci. Ketua bagi seluruh bulan. Sedangkan aku... Kotor, hati berlumpur. Hitam segala bagai. Mana mungkin aku boleh bersama Ramadhan! Mana mungkin yang suci itu dikotori! Aku tidak menghitung hari. Aku cuma membiarkan saja Ramadhan pergi. Kerana aku takut, dosa yang aku lakukan membuatkan Ramadhan membenci. Cukuplah aku dibenci. Janganlah ditambah dengan kebencian bulan yang paling murni! Sebenarnya, aku... sangat takut akan Ramadhan. Sedikit sebanyak aku menanti Syawal. Bukan, bukan sebab aku ingin merayakan perginya Ramadhan. Bukan. Bahkan aku menunggu Ramadhan yang seterusnya. Jika ajal tak kunjung tiba. Cuma aku malu! Aku malu dengan kealpaanku. Aku malu dengan aku. Hingga ke hujung ini, aku sendiri. Dan DIA memberi. Aku bukan dicipt...