I arrived at school at 9.50 a.m.
Yup, I was late.
My classmates were shocked when they saw me entered the class. I was shocked too.
Last Friday, most of the Form 5 Muslims went to the mosque and had Qiam for 3 days. It ended the day before yesterday. For me, it was boring at first, irritating in the middle, great after that and normal later. I cried a lot this time compared to the last Qiam.
I thought my batch will be all right and find a way back to a peaceful life, but I stand corrected. Yesterday, I received so many complaints until I didn't know what else to do besides listening. As I was listening to Alang's while waiting for teacher to come, the door opened- pushed by someone, and the teacher came in. We were in the room besides our class. The teacher was furious as there were only the two of us in there. Honestly, I just realized it. I JUST REALIZED. People, I was too busy with my brother and trying to find a solution in my head when YOU guys thought that we were dating. Oh come on, he is my brother for God sake. Use your brain lah.
It was ok at first. Then, when I was about to leave the school, another teacher called me and we talked about "Library's Week". After that, I discussed with another teacher about few arrangements for the book fair. I went downstairs after it all finished. Guess, who did I met?
Smiling, I greeted him, Azrul, Angah, Reez Reez, Fatin and Filzah.
Angah and Reez Reez left.
So did Fatin and Filzah.
Then I asked him what did he talked about.
Azrul said, "You'll know later. Maybe on Thursday."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"There's something that will humiliate you. Think about it and 'muhasabah diri," "he" replied.
I can't stand there anymore.
I can barely walk and think.
I knew that being alone with a boy in a room is wrong. But we never did anything. Do you know how much I suffered? He is my brother. I care about him. Do you? If you do, why didn't you just say, "get out from the room." Why did you must let the whole school to know? It was the first time!
I prayed and went back home. Just imagine how humiliating it is to know that all the drivers were watching you.
I told my cousin that I don't want to go to school today but when I woke up, I had a bad feeling. So I ironed my clothes and walked to school.
I found out that there was a fight between my classmates and Alang was in the small room.
After I finished my work, I went to see Alang for a while and sat at my place.
I don't want to be interrupt.
Later on, after Physics, Ecah gave me something to eat as I don't eat for 12 hours. Syidah bought me Ice Lemon Tea and my mood really change after that.
I played (while learning) in our Chemist lab.
Few things happened but I don't want to type as it involved "him".
For the second time in my life, I HATE someone. I forgive the first one long ago.
If you ever got the chance to read this,
Please note that I won't forgive you and never will talk to you.
Until the day that Allah open my heart to forgive,
You will remain the only person I ever hate.
I regretted that I never speak trash about you before,
That I praised you in front of every person I ever knew,
That I actually worried about you when you were in a bad mood.
I will never, in my whole life,
Approve you to say my name ever again.