Hidupku, matiku hanya untuk Allah.

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم My parents met in Japan, married after they went back to Malaysia. They worked in Japan factories. They flew back and forth. And we were there. Kira, Kika and Kanis, Kika, Kira and Kanis. Kanis, Kira and Kika. Three of us. Kika, Kira and Kanis. Both of them gained a little bit more attention than me. Kika was diagnosed from the day she was born with asthma. Kanis had been the youngest for 5 years. And I was in the middle. Either ami or abah will send us to school. They didn't have the time to pick me up after school. My uncles did. Or the neighbours. They didn't come during the day parents have to see the teachers. The Open Day. Except for the last year I was in the primary school. They never visit me at my boarding school. I called once per two weeks. For a few seconds. They gave me total freedom. Whatever I want to do,...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. I don't know... yet. Istikharah sudah, petunjuk mungkin. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Pada jalan berliku, moga Allah luruskan langkahku. Tika langit dunia di sana runtuh, moga Allah teguhkan akidahku. Jika kesusahan datang, moga Allah kuatkan hatiku. Pada hati yang gelisah, moga Allah curahkan ketenangan buat diriku. Moga kasih Allah sentiasa bersamaku. InsyaAllah, jika benar ini takdirku, kalian tidak akan dilupakan. 190 Cinta pertama di Taman Ilmu dan Budi. Been there. Done that. You've seen me, and as I promised to myself, those who saw, will be my friend forever after. Wallahua'alam.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. When I was Form 5, I conducted a performance for Teachers Day. I chose the song; accidentally in love. Somehow, I just remembered it. I was thinking to myself just now. I asked myself, “In Islam, is love probihited or not?” What I meant with love was the feelings between normal teenagers nowadays. Among brothers and sisters. I know for a fact, in Islamic point of view, love is after nikah. Love is after marriage. However, if you are about to marry someone, you most probably will marry the one whom you like. Again, I know, there were cases where people doesn't know each other and yet still happily married. But, it doesn't apply to most of a million of other cases. The probability of marrying someone whom we already like is higher than to marry with an unknown someone. So is it wrong to be in love before marriage? For me, I don't think it is wrong but it truly depends on how you handle the feeling you called love. I prefe...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. It was a more than a year ago, when I was in high school, my English teacher, Mrs Messie, instructed me and my friends to write an essay. She wrote the question on the board (we still use chalks). "If you have the chance to be anyone in the world. Who will you be and why?" I did not quite remember my reaction, but I do remember that I wasn't thinking too much. I already had a pen in my hand thus I wrote, "I want to be a teacher." Remembering that, and founded the evidence in my old school book made me... think. For me right here, right now, being an Engineering student who struggle with the world to achieve a good CGPA every semester, I couldn't think of what I was thinking back then when I was 16? A teacher? I knew it was my dream and still is but it was a chance to be anyone in the world and I straight away go for a teacher? I thought a lot about this during the day and I finally found the answer. I was being, simp...

  Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Today I woke up with, a fever. There were food on the table, bought by my ex-room mate and paid by current room mate. I haven't eat yet. I couldn't even think right now. Had slept for hours until the eye bag disappeared, it must had been a long sleep. And I dreamt. I felt sick. However, here are two pictures from yesterdays' journey, have a blast. Daripada Abdurrahaman bin Abi Bakrah, dia berkata kepada ayahnya : "Wahai ayah ! Saya selalu mendengar ayahanda berdoa Allahumma 'afini fi badani,Allahumma 'afini fi sam'iyy, Allahumma 'afini fi basari, la Ilaha illa Anta ( Maksudnya: Allah sihatkanlah badanku, pada pendengaranku dan pada penglihatanku) dibaca 3 kali setiap pagi & petang. Ayahnya menjawab : Sungguh aku telah mendengar Rasulullah saw berdoa dengan kata-kata ini, aku gembira mengikuti Nabi saw. ( Riwayat Abu Dawud no 4426 ) Source of hadith:  http://mohamadmuda.blogspot.com/2010/06/doa-...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. I closed my eyes, and memories flashes. I opened both. I can't breath, I tried to. Really hard . I saw nothing but water, I was surrounded by them, and shades of light above me. I remembered it clearly now, I was drowning. For I know I can't swim, I try to push myself up to the surface. But it was useless. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed that I'm getting nearer to the bottom of the pool. I thought, "why on Earth would I separate myself from my family? They could have see me drowning and save me." Then I knew the reason, I was separated from them because I wanted to. I wanted to be alone. But I never wanted to drown and die all by myself. I tried to breath again, and I failed. Water came in instead of air. I started to let go, letting my body to drift away, to sink. I was too little, haven't been to school yet, and I was ready to die. I closed my eyes. And I felt a hand grabbed me, I survived. I op...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t Honestly, HONESTLY, I found that my previous font was, well, nice but almost unreadable. So I decided just to keep it simple. Not that people read these things of me writing an awful lot of stuffs anyway. Friends and foes, I have a story to tell. Do not complaint, as this is my blog you looking at. On the 11th of July 2010, we, my friends and I, almost the whole batch of SPM '10 went to Masjid al-Munawwarah for a Qiam programme. I never cry during a programme like this. But last year, it was different. One of my friend just lost his father. I knew that Aisyah is an orphan, Nik also. But I never thought much about it. Until that time, the importance of parents really hit me. I was raised, practically by my family. My grandmother, my mother's mother, took care of me during most of my childhood. My elder sister was sometimes sick, and my younger sister was just one year apart from me. And there was me, in the middle of everything. I lost...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Little did I know, that packing bags alone is a real life torture. I feel like to cry every second of it. I am alone, in my dorm. My only roommate left, she's heading back to Kedah. It is not the same, when you were left alone while your roommates went to the city to shop with friends. It is not the same, when you were left alone while your roommates have classes. It is not the same, because, the stuffs are still there. You know they'll come back. This time, I am alone. No one is coming back. I never say anything about Aimi leaving to Egypt, ain't it? I was completely sad. And I kept it inside. Let's rewind. Back in the day, when all of Engineering students have to register to CFS, I came here wearing white hijab, no niqab, purple baju kurung and black shoes. The shoes that I wear everyday to classes. I always like lavender, that's why I wear that baju kurung even though it is an old one. With my...