Hidupku, matiku hanya untuk Allah.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. #ThrowbackTime 2 Oktober 2012: Setelah mendarat di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Kaherah. 2 Oktober 2018: Peperiksaan akhir pusingan Pembedahan (End-Round Surgery). Malangnya tiada gambar kerana penat XD How time flies~ Pertama sekali saya bersyukur kerana sudah menamatkan dua pusingan yang panjang dan kritikal: Obstretrik dan Ginekologi (OnG) dan Pembedahan (Surgery). Untuk adik-adik tahun 5 yang bakal naik ke tahun 6 selepas ujian, mungkin nak jadikan jadual senior (hihi) sebagai rujukan; Jadual round. Jadual kelas. Berbeza dengan tahun 5 ( round pagi kemudian diikuti dengan kelas petang), tahun 6, personally , lebih fleksibel kerana kelas pagi dan round petang ~ Jika round habis awal -- heaveeeen. Ada beberapa perubahan dalam jadual kelas yang diatur oleh ketua kelas dan ketua akademik. Sebagai contoh kelas agama, pensyarah datang ke hospital dan kami tidak perlu ke kuliah lagi ^^ I can't remember the last time I went ...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. As usual, it had been a while. So that's that. Let us catch up each others' life, shall we. After all, one's experiences shape one's expectations. I left Egypt. Chill. It is summer break, dear. But the thing is, I wasn't planning to. Therefore, why did I booked my ticket 4 days before flight, few hours after my last end-of-term paper and arrived at KLIA afterwards - alone -? It was the tense. My 2nd year as a medical student started with; me wearing niqab, not special by the way, financial assistance from Zakat and others, alhamduLILLAH, a cosy bedroom for one, friends and family. Never did I though it will all, well, most of it... change throughout my academic year (Sept 2013-June 2014) Few days back I was asked - again - of my reason not to wear niqab anymore. It was pretty clear for me but for me myself, common senses are subjective. I might see something normal bu...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. These days, I lost myself. I try to grasp the idea of gaining back but it doesn't brings much effect as I wanted it to be. As... I want. *sigh* The nafs wants everything. The last day Syeikh was here, I waved from the house. It was morning and I looked bad enough to go out and stand by the car. So I didn't and stayed. The house turned very quiet afterwards, very. We know he will be gone for at least 2 months. For few seconds only after he left... we felt... missing. At least I do. Study week came shortly afterwards. Our daily classes became weekly on basis. Once per week. Not even the Friday's night "Majlis Selawat". I wasn't even very sure what went wrong. But I did ran away. I packed my bags and poof, I was on the bus to Ramsis. Poof, I was on the tremco to Tanta. Spent a night, train to Alex. Spent a night, car to Mansoura. S...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. It's been a while. Isn't it? Last post was on November and poof, here I am. May 2014. 20 years old, reaching that 21 this October insyaALLAH. Bits from here and there. So alhamduLILLAH I had finished the semester and currently in my study week just before the final examination. Egypt is as always, as you can read it on the news or happen to experience it by yourself. Truth to be told, I was scrolling around the previous posts. It was like a memory lane, it is, indeed. Ups and downs. There are things that I don't even want to remember. I don't wish it doesn't happen but something so devastating just need to... disappear? Well, anyway... Those are the things that made what I am today, isn't it? No, I can't agree more. At the beginning of the academic year, it happened that I was destined to this beautiful house of Rumah Kenyalang, the residency for Sarawakian...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. Kami tak kuat. Serius. Tak tipu. Angkat dua-dua tangan siap. Kami tak kuat. Entah, masih tak tercapai hasrat masa cuti. Bagi badan rehat lagi. Masih berehat. Kami minta DIA; dosa diampunkan. Ingat senang? Ingat senang nak rasa takut -- setakut-takutnya. Ingat senang nak rasa mengharap -- setinggi-tingginya? Tak. Tak senang bagi kami. Gila -banyak-dosa. Nak minta ampun. Macam mana? Serius. Macam mana? Tutup mata. ALLAH. "Ampunkan aku ya ALLAH." Lepas itu? Pandang kiri pandang kanan atas bawah. Kembali ke kehidupan asal. Tahu... ALLAH sayang. Tapi... Macam mana? "Apa aku nak buat?" bisik hati kecil yang tak seberapa nak berbisik. Jerit. "Apa aku nak buaaaaat?" Hm. Macam itu. Switch. It is not like I am the best person-ever. But; I have to do something! Move it move it. Let us move it move it. Eh. It is not like I can recite Quran 24 hours....

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم Pagi tadi, menerima panggilan dari sahabat, moga ALLAH meredhainya. Ditanya kepada kami, "Apa masalahmu?" Kami diam. Pernah dipesan salah seorang guru kami, "Janganlah engkau menceritakan apa yang ALLAH lakukan untukmu. Itu tanda engkau tidak redha akan TUHANmu. Akan tetapi, janganlah pula engkau bersalah sangka bahawa sesungguhnya engkau tidak boleh bercerita apa pun dengan yang lain." Fikir dan difikir. Sesungguhnya semua bermula dengan niat. Niat yang membezakan; adat dan ibadat. Ada yang perlu kami cerita, ada yang tidak perlu. Kami berkira-kira bertanya, "Salah ke hendak mengingati ALLAH?" Ada yang membalas, jangan terlampau difikir. Tak mampu. Kami mengingat kembali kata Syeikhuna. "Love me, I will bring you to RasuluLLAH s.a.w. Love RasuluLLAH s.a.w, then you will reach ALLAH s.w.t. As I am ...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم Soalan masyhur kepada penuntut al-Azhar yang akan mahupun sedang bercuti: "Apa perancangan masa cuti?" Jawapan dari kami yang hina dina, Semuanya... insyaALLAH: 1. Mengulang muqarrar semester pengajian lepas. 2. Membaca muqarrar semester pengajian akan datang. 3. Mengulang hafazan al-Quran. 4. Menghafaz bacaan baru. 5. Mengulang hafazan matan. 6. Menghafaz matan baru. 7. Mengulang lihat video pengajian Syeikhuna. 8. Melazimi kelas Syeikhuna. 9. Melazimi pengajian yang lain. 10. Memantapkan bahasa Arab. 11. Menambah kosa kata bahasa Inggeris. Kullu insyaALLAH, la haw la wa la quwwata illa biLLAH. Lalu semalam muzakarah bersama ahbab Darul Hasani, bagaimana hendak mencapai impian yang ke-10? Katanya, lihatlah video-video Habib. Mereka berbahasa Fushah, dan kata-kata mereka ibarat syair. ALLAHuRABBi. Moga diberi kekuatan. Per...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. Yet another Cinderella story, My Cinderella shoes I, So she walked as usual during her night time, living her night life. Who was she in the day light? People know but had they noticed? She does not know and yes, she does not care. But her life during the night was the best that she could offer to herself. Wearing her usual Cinderella shoes, she walked and walked. Suddenly her footsteps stopped. She felt weird but not the kind that felt in her heart. She looked down at her feet, and realized that her shoes had a hole on it. Her Cinderella shoes, used to shine and accompany wherever she went through. Had had a hole on it. She was thinking of buying a new one. A new pair of shoes. But she reminded herself that she had a spare at home. Another pair of shoes. This one is black, another one is maroon. She reminded herself, of a story she was told. ...

BismiLLAHirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatuLLAHi wabarakatuh. Sesungguhnya, setiap amal itu bermula dengan niat. Dan kami, terkesan lagi dengan hati. Bersedih dengan hati. Saatnya melangkah ke pengajian selepas Maghrib tadi, tahu dan sedar, ALLAH-lah yang menggerakkan. Maka jasad hanya menurut. Seperti mana kami tak meminta diciptakan begini, kami juga tak ingin meminta hidup selain daripada ini. Kullu khair. Tidak semena-mena lidah bertutur, "Semangat, Umayr!" "Umayr, Umayr, Umayr!" Kau - tak - akan - bergerak - tanpa - kekuatan - dari - ALLAH! Menyusur jalan ke Enppi, menunggu pengangkutan awam. Sampai dan melangkah ke atas. Bulan sudah mula sempurna, hampir tamam. Ya Nabi, Ya Salam, bilakah waktu kita akan bertemu? Menegur ahli pengajian, ahbab mahupun bukan. Setiapnya bagi kami pencinta. Semua pencari. Mencari DIA yang dekat. Sepertinya, hari yang biasa, sah? Bahkan tidak. Baru sah...