Hidupku, matiku hanya untuk Allah.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. I closed my eyes, and memories flashes. I opened both. I can't breath, I tried to. Really hard . I saw nothing but water, I was surrounded by them, and shades of light above me. I remembered it clearly now, I was drowning. For I know I can't swim, I try to push myself up to the surface. But it was useless. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed that I'm getting nearer to the bottom of the pool. I thought, "why on Earth would I separate myself from my family? They could have see me drowning and save me." Then I knew the reason, I was separated from them because I wanted to. I wanted to be alone. But I never wanted to drown and die all by myself. I tried to breath again, and I failed. Water came in instead of air. I started to let go, letting my body to drift away, to sink. I was too little, haven't been to school yet, and I was ready to die. I closed my eyes. And I felt a hand grabbed me, I survived. I op...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Don't. Stop right there. If you don't want to read an-awful-lot of things. You better stop. I was at my work, waiting for my result when I received a text, asking me whether it is true that all the 1st years in CFS have to repeat Maths 1 again. I was speechless. Not wanting to believe, so I reply with a no. I asked why. She replied, it was all over fb. Since, I deleted my old account, I don't have a way to access that information. So I called sir Ashraf. Even though he is not my Maths lecturer. I don't care. He told me there might be a possibility, but didn't know why. I took a deep breath, and called sir Izzuddin. I was hoping he won't answer, but he did. So I asked him. He told me, everything. I hung up, again, took a deep breath. Walked back to my stall as there were customers and cried after they left. I hate Maths. I am not good in Maths. I am the only one in my family who didn't score in Maths. I worked ...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Little did I know, that packing bags alone is a real life torture. I feel like to cry every second of it. I am alone, in my dorm. My only roommate left, she's heading back to Kedah. It is not the same, when you were left alone while your roommates went to the city to shop with friends. It is not the same, when you were left alone while your roommates have classes. It is not the same, because, the stuffs are still there. You know they'll come back. This time, I am alone. No one is coming back. I never say anything about Aimi leaving to Egypt, ain't it? I was completely sad. And I kept it inside. Let's rewind. Back in the day, when all of Engineering students have to register to CFS, I came here wearing white hijab, no niqab, purple baju kurung and black shoes. The shoes that I wear everyday to classes. I always like lavender, that's why I wear that baju kurung even though it is an old one. With my...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Have you ever thought that there is somehow, someone who is exactly like you? I've met people who fit as my conjugate, who is totally different than me, but exactly like me? That's a no for almost 18 years I lived. But, somehow, I think I've met this weird person in the awkward moment at unsuitable place and time. And I'm not loving it. So I want to prove that he/she (I will not say what the gender is) is not the only one who is exactly like me. Let's make a survey then. These are, officially, few hidden secrets of me. I'm revealing most of it. I am unbelievably tired of saying this and that about me. So, anyone who read this, tick which one we have in common. We are somewhat related if we have some common interest C: Let's start: 1. I love Ice Lemon Tea since standard 6 . Most of you know this but then, what is the reason? Truthfully, when I was standard 6, I was ultimately in love with...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. I AM FRESH C: After drinking a bottle of Ice Lemon Tea, and murmuring things at my meeting with the committees, and humiliating myself, I declare, my stress is less. So, hum, "kahwin awal"? Bakpo nak kawe awal2 ni~? Haha. Kidding. It's a good thing, you know. But it is not easy. Especially for me. To those who knows my story, you know my storyline. To those who don't, believe me, I am trying hard enough to forget. It is not easy to like someone who likes you, and it is not easy to be like by someone you like. AND it is not easy to pretend to like someone that likes you. I really wish, somehow, there is, someone, that knows who I am accidentally. That when I smile, he smile, when I create phrases, he will be able to continue it, when I am sad, he'll give me Ice Lemon Tea. And perhaps, if I am lucky enough, that particular person will always be by my side, even without me knowing about it. I ha...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Let gone be by gone. Arab was over, Maths done. Leaving me with Physics and Computer. So, So. My addiction to Ice Lemon Tea is back. Moving from one bottle to another. This is good. Believe me. My mood here is currently moving up and down, up and down. And sometimes constant. People kept telling me I am changing. A lot. I don't know what to say about this. Fine. Lets make a survey. Previously, I was super duper extremely friendly. Now, I am just -- friendly. Previously, I was talkative. I talk non-stop. Now, most of the time I talk to myself, in my heart, on my own. I was, previously, the girl-who-doesn't-care-at-all. I laughed whenever I want, I play hide and seek constantly, I cried publicly, I don't study, and I did all the things you never thought an eighteen years old would do. I had my time. And I am moving on. But some things still remains. I love Ice Lemon Tea, but none of my new friends...

Assalamualaikum. SPM is getting nearer. I don't know what else to say in my blog. OH, I don't drink Ice Lemon Tea that much now. I usually drink one or two glasses of Ice Lemon Tea everyday. But since my birthday, I had stopped. I was addicted, literally, to Ice Lemon Tea. Since I was in standard 6, (6 years now) I kept drinking it whenever I feel sad nor happy, every single time. I looooove Ice Lemon Tea to death. If someone asks me to choose between Ice Lemon Tea and a bunch of money, I'll use that money to buy Ice Lemon Tea. The reason that I stop drinking for a while is, I was afraid of sugar level in my blood. What if I got diabetes? Therefore, I made a decision, to stop for a while. JUST FOR A WHILE.

Assalamualaikum. I hadn't post for a while. Not that this blog have readers, anyways. But memories are meant to be kept. So, I hope I can treasure my memories as most as possible. A few times in my life, I said to myself, "I won't forget this moment." Then, within a certain amount of time, I forgot. Nothing can change though. Not even me and my liking of Ice Lemon Tea. I've read a few blogs now. Some were good, most were not. People posted everything they could think and like of. Songs, pictures, stories, etc. Nice. I thought that I could also do the same thing. But what should I post? For me, this is not like sharing an Youtube video on Facebook. This is far more important than that. I am going to post the first song in my blog. What song would I choose? I think, rethink, and rethink again. And I've decided. This song I've liked for many years. Sometimes I do forgot the title, and I don't listen much of it. But this broken-hearted-...